An ongoing survey of women in New Zealand found that women were 30% more likely to experience substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, anxiety disorders and major depression after abortion than after other pregnancy outcomes.
No increase in mental health risks was found among women who continued an unplanned pregnancy, and the researchers said there was no evidence abortion offered any mental health benefits to women.
Source: DM Fergusson et. al., “Abortion and mental health disorders: evidence from a 30-year longitudinal study,” The British Journal of Psychiatry, 193: 444-451, 2008.
A survey of 5,877 women found that women who had abortions were at higher risk for various mental health disorders.
Researchers studied 15 different mental health problems, including anxiety disorders (panic disorder, panic attacks, agoraphobia, post-traumatic stress disorder), mood disorders (bipolar disorder, mania, major depression) and substance abuse disorders. Abortion made a significant contribution for 12 out of the 15 disorders studied.
Source: PK Coleman et. al., “Induced abortion and anxiety, mood, and substance abuse disorders: Isolating the effects of abortion in the national comorbidity survey,” Journal of Psychiatric Research doi:10.1016/jpsychires.2008.10.009, 2008.
Teens are 5 times more likely to seek subsequent help for psychological and emotional problems compared to their peers who carry “unwanted pregnancies” to term.
Teens are 3 times more likely to report subsequent trouble sleeping, and nine times more likely to report subsequent marijuana use after abortion.
Among studies comparing abortion vs. carrying to term, worse outcomes are associated with abortion, even when the pregnancy is unplanned.
Source: PK Coleman, “Resolution of Unwanted Pregnancy During Adolescence Through Abortion Versus Childbirth: Individual and Family Predictors and Psychological Consequences,” Journal of Youth and Adolescence (2006).
Allison Bottke writes, “We tend to focus so much time and energy on the problems of our adult children, we have neglected the issues that have made us who we are today. We must be willing to look at ourselves to identify our reasons for allowing things to get so out of hand.”
Your adult daughter who is pregnant and not married may be consuming your thoughts and energy. Perhaps she has been the focus of your life for some time now. Bottke writes about some of the possible reasons that you’ve made yourself so available to your adult pregnant daughter:
- Guilt over perceived failures as a parent (and the feeling that we must somehow compensate for our past failures).
- The sad (and somewhat perverse) need to be appreciated by our adult children. (Buying our children’s love by enabling their lifestyles only perpetuates both our problem and theirs).
- Influencing our children against their other parent (again, a perverse issue, but it does exist).
- Some aspect of our own upbringing that is influencing us to enable our children. (Were we deprived of love or physical needs in our youth, and are we compensating by giving our children what we never had?)
- Lack of trust in God for the outcome if we cut off the flow of money to our adult children. (At some point, ever Christian parent of an adult child will have to release that child to God and learn to trust Him for whatever happens).
Journal about these possible reasons that you have enabled the lifestyle of your adult pregnant daughter. Pray about them. Talk to a counselor or pastor about them. Ask God to show you what issues you need to deal with so that you can be a more healthy person.
If you have been enabling irresponsible behavior, I urge you to read the book Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
by Allison Bottke.
Actress Patricia Neal starred in films such as Hud, Breakfast at Tiffany’s and The Day the Earth Stood Still.
When she was 21, she had an affair with 46-year-old-and-married Gary Cooper. She got pregnant. Gary Cooper insisted she have an abortion, so she did. In her autobiography, “As I Am”, Neal said that this abortion was the biggest sorrow of her life: “If I had only one thing to do over in my life, I would have that baby.”
Olivia Braaten talk about Neal’s life in an article: “She publicly supported fellow actress Ingrid Bergman in 1950, when she gave birth to a child out of wedlock despite Hollywood’s raised eyebrows. As Neal told PEOPLE magazine, she wished she had exhibited Bergman’s bravery instead of succumbing to pressure to hide her pregnancy by turning to abortion.”
Help your pregnant daughter be brave and not succumb to pressure to abort her child and your grandchild. Our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy” has helpful information as you both examine single parenting and adoption as alternatives.
The final report on birth data for 2007 has been released. Here are a few excerpts from the report that are relevant to this blog.
- The birth rate for mothers under the age of 18 did not change between 2006 and 2007.
- The birth rate for mothers aged 18-19 rose 1% from 2006.
- Preliminary 2008 data indicates that the birth rate for mothers aged 15-19 dropped 2% in 2008.
- There was a slight increase (less than 1%) in births to women aged 20-24.
- The typical age of the mother at first birth is 25.0.
- The number of babies born to unmarried women (of all ages) in 2007 climbed to 1,715,047, 4% more than in 2006, and the highest number ever recorded in the United States. The increases were greatest in women over the age of 30. Rates increased 9 percent for older teenagers 18-19 years and 14 percent for women aged 20-24 years.
- Among births to teenagers under 20 years, 86% of births are nonmarital. Which means that 14% are inside marriage.
- During the years 2002-2007, women aged 20-24 went from 52% nonmarital births to 60% nonmarital.
- In 2007, less than 2% of teens gave birth to twins.
Birth rate data from Table A in the report:
Age 10-14 years old: 0.6 (2007), 0.6 (2006), 0.7 (2005), 1.4 (1991). No statistically significant change between 2006 and 2007. -14% from 2005 to 2007. -50% from 1991-2005.
Age 15-17 years: 22.1 (2007), 22.0 (2006), 21.4 (2005), 38.6 (1991). No statistically significant change between 2006-2007. +3% 2005-2007. -45% from 1991 – 2005.
Age 18-19, all races: 73.9 (2007), 73.0 (2006), 69.9 (2005), 94.0 (1991). +1% from 2006-2007. +6% from 2005-2007. -26% from 1991-2005.
For 18-19 year old mothers, Non-Hispanic white births increased 2% from 2006-2007; Non-Hispanic black birth were not statistically significantly changed; American Indian or Alaska Native +9% from 2006-2007; Asian or Pacific Islander were not statistically significantly changed; and Hispanic -2% from 2006-2007.
Four areas to consider when your pregnant daughter is choosing childcare, via the National Fatherhood Initiative:
- Good people: spend enough time observing to see that there is a good balance of professionalism and warmth, that the care workers are indeed caring and intelligent people.
- Stimulating environment. Take a careful look around, especially in corners and cabinets. Is the place clean? safe? comfortable? stimulating? bright? fun? What certifications does the care center have? Do they have certification from the National Association for the Education of Young Children?
- Location. If possible, choose a daycare that is within a few minutes drive from work/school so that your daughter can stop in for lunch occasionally and can also pick up her child rapidly if he/she gets sick.
- Cost. Many day care centers cost approximately the same. If you find a place that is distinctly more expensive or less expensive, try to figure out why the price is different and possibly avoid a location that is comparably too cheap…is the service and care substandard?
We talk more about childcare in our book “How To Survive Your Teen’s Pregnancy” in the chapter “Childcare responsibilities”.
The Elliot Insitute News shares this real story in a recent newsletter:
My sister and I were both victims of incest. My sister was being sexually assaulted by my brothers for a number of years when she got her first abortion at the age of sixteen. Had she been questioned by anyone as to how a minor like herself had come to be pregnant in the first place, perhaps she could have been saved from any further abuse within the family.
This is indeed what should have happened in any agency that claims to be concerned about preventing child abuse. As it turned out, she was given the abortion without my parents’ consent or knowledge and then returned to the same environment.
Years later, after having given birth to three children, and having had many years of psychotherapy and antidepressant drugs, she became pregnant in a crisis situation. She was advised by friends and self-appointed do-gooders to abort the baby to take care of herself. This caused her a great deal of distress and anxiety. The decision was very difficult for her and in her weakened state she succumbed to the “sensibility” of their arguments and scheduled the abortion.
She was crying when she entered the clinic, she cried throughout the procedure, and was sobbing as she left. No one at the clinic asked her any questions that might upset her any more. But of course, had anyone asked her, they might have recognized that she was not emotionally strong enough to stand the abortion. Had they inquired about her health history they may have seen her as the high risk patient she was.
None of this took place. One week after the abortion she took her life with a gunshot to the chest, striking her heart. Her three children are growing up without their mom because no one wanted to ask questions. … [A]bortion without regulation doesn’t give women a chance to make all the decisions based on the true facts and the security of knowing that as much as possible has been done to protect her against criminal-minded persons and inferior medical practices.
A recent medical study examined how domestic violence impacted the health of a pregnant woman and her baby. Talk to your pregnant daughter about these points:
- “Studies estimate that up to 9% of women suffer physical or sexual violence by a male partner”. Has her boyfriend ever abused her physically or sexually?
- “40% and 59% of those women continue to experience intimate partner violence once they become pregnant”. Has he continued to abuse her during her pregnancy?
- “More than 80% of women who suffer intimate partner violence during pregnancy have been prior victims of partner abuse”.
- “Intimate partner violence during pregnancy is associated with adverse pregnancy outcomes including preterm birthand having a low birthweight baby, as well as increased risk of cesarean delivery, uterine rupture, hemorrhage and antenatal hospitalization.”
- “Intimate partner violence also is linked with higher rates of maternal morbidity, including low weight gain, anemia, kidney infections, and first- and second-trimester bleeding, as well as depression and other psychological problems.”
If your daughter is experiencing abuse, get her some help by talking to the police or to a lawyer, and help her leave the situation to get to safety.
Allison Bottke has a list of things you need to STOP doing in order to stop enabling your ADULT child who is acting irresponsibly.
- Stop repeating negative enabling behavior in all its forms.
- Stop ignoring your own personal issues.
- Stop being alone in your pain … find a support group and be an active member right away.
- Stop the flow of money – now.
- Stop pretending things are going to be fine if you continue as you have been.
- Stop putting off the changes that must be made.
- Stop your own destructive patterns and behaviors.
- Stop feeling guilty.
- Stop demanding that your adult child change.
- Stop making excuses for her negative behaviors and choices.
- Stop engaging in arguments, debates, or negotiations.
- Stop being a martyr.
If you have been enabling irresponsible behavior, I urge you to read the book Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents by Allison Bottke.
