Dealing with stress

Family & Consumer Sciences at Michigan State University Extension created a free program called "Caring for My Family." One of the lessons in this program is called "Dealing with Stress". Consider printing out this lesson and discussing it with your pregnant daughter. As you probably know very well, nearly every family member will feel stress when your teen or college age daughter is pregnant. Some of the main points from this lesson are as follows.

"Stress is our body’s response to things that trigger an emotional reaction in us. It happens as a result of life’s demands (pleasant and unpleasant) and our ability to deal with them."

Each person's body responds differently to stress. The lesson lists a bunch of reactions. Which of these stress symptoms do you feel? Which do your pregnant daughter feel?

Physical: headaches, loss of hair, dry mouth, dizziness, face feels hot, appetite changes, lump in throat, heartburn, backache, sweat, skin rash, diarrhea, increased urination, nail biting, cold hands and feet, trembling, fatigue, insomnia, weight changes, colds, stomach aches, pounding heart, teeth grinding, restlessness, insomnia, increased tobacco/alcohol/drug use, neck and shoulders tighten and ache.

Mental: forgetfulness, dull senses, poor concentration, negative attitude, confusion, tired, boredom, no new ideas, depressed.

Emotional: anxiety, the “blues”, mood swings, bad temper, crying spells, irritability, depression, nervous laughter, worrying, easily discouraged.

Social: isolation, resentment, loneliness, relationship problems, lashing out, clamming up, sex drive changes, nagging, fewer contacts with people, using people.

Are you always aware of when your stress symptoms are happening to you? Why or why not? Can you stop them from happening? How? Do you see a pattern in your responses – are they mostly physical or do they usually involve other people?

Pick one thing that you are feeling stress about. Write about that topic using the following questions. Have your daughter complete this exercise too.

Something in my life that continues to bother me and makes me feel frustrated is:

I am upset about this situation because:

The change I would like to see is:

The obstacles that might get in the way of making this change is:

I can get rid of these obstacles by:

I will take the following steps toward making this change come about
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

Consider getting counseling for yourself, your daughter, and any other family members who are feeling stress because of your daughter's pregnancy. A pregnancy help center may be able to offer peer counseling to your daughter and yourself. Does your church have a counseling ministry? Both your church and a pregnancy center may also have referrals to other counseling sources such as private counselors or social services.