Newsweek: "Teen Pregnancy, Hollywood Style"

Newsweek recently had an online article titled "Teen Pregnancy, Hollywood Style." Take a few minutes to read the article, then come back. We'll wait for you.

"It's the missing three C's: there's little commitment, no mention of contraception and rarely do we see negative consequences," says Jane Brown, a journalism professor at the University of North Carolina who runs the Teen Media Project. "What's missing in the media's sexual script is what happens before and after. Why are these kids getting pregnant and what happens afterward?"

Kids are getting pregnant because they are having sex. A better question might be 'why are these kids having sex?' Statistics say that slightly less than half of high school student are having sex, so why do we see so much teen sexual activity in the media? Talk to your kids about sexual activity and the "three C's" mentioned above.

• What does your family believe should be the connection between sex and commitment? What kind of commitment should be present before kissing? petting? oral sex? intercourse?
• What does your family believe about contraception methods and their use? Does a teen being on the pill or shot mean that she is encouraged to have sex?
• Research with your kids the physical and emotional consequences of sexual activity. The CDC says that 25% of female teens have at least one sexually transmitted disease. Some of our previous posts have discussed consequences: "Sexual Behavior In America's Children" and "Benefits of Delaying Sexual Debut".

The Newsweek article then tells the stories of several teens who gave birth to their children, highlighting the negative consequences of being a teen mother. One teen dropped out of high school because of the social pressure. Another teen's mother felt judged at church because her daughter was pregnant. While some media make teen parenting look glamorous (Jamie Lynn Spears has money for nannies and enough to buy anything her child desires), other media (like this Newsweek article) focuses only on the negative aspects, saying they are bringing "reality." However, the Newsweek article seems to be saying that giving birth should be avoided because being a parent is too hard (thus subtly promoting abortion), not that having sex should be delayed until marriage. The Newsweek article also promotes condoms and contraceptives, but ignores the emotional consequences of sex outside of marriage. There is no condom or pill that protects the heart. Newsweek conviently ignores the painful consequences of teen pregnancies that end in abortion instead of birth.

One of the reader comments on the Newsweek site told her story:

Posted By: carefullmom @ 07/28/2008 4:17:04 AM
Comment: When I was just a fourteen year old child I was surprised to find myself pregnant. I knew how it happened, but I think I was so naive that I didn't think that it would happen. I don't recall my folks ever speaking to me about the subject. When they finally figured out what was going on with me, they drove me to a clinic and forced a decision down my throat. I don't really know what decision I would have made if it had been left up to me, I think I probably would have just gone on in childlike ignorance not believing that any of it was really happening. After the tears cleared and I realized what had happened, and took responsibility for what I had done, I became so angry that I became near obsessive about having another baby. At 18, I did. I moved out of my parents home at midnight on my 18th birthday and called them a few months later to tell them that they would soon be grandparents. They indicated that the 4 years of remorse that they had watched me endure had led them to believe that only having a child was going to help me begin to heal. I thank God for their support and believe that my daughter healed wounds in my family that might never have otherwise healed. With my folks support and personal drive resulting from wanting the very best for my daughter, I finished college, landed a good job, eventually married a great man who adopted my daughter, finished graduate school, and now have two more children. The first five years when I was going to college and being a mom were really challenging. Other students were going to parties and I was washing diapers and working a night shift to make enough money to pay my rent and buy food. My oldest daughter, now 20 and in college, and my middle daughter, now 14, know that they can come to me with anything and I will not judge them, but will help them no matter how difficult the situation. They tell me that I have given them a tremendous role model to strive towards in their own lives. We have spoken openly and honestly about birth control, sex, and the hardships of raising babies alone and in poverty for so many years now that I cannot remember when we started. I think teen mothers and mothers-to-be or perhaps not-to-be need more non-judgemental support to help them make a decision about whether they have what it takes to raise a child. And for those young women who do choose to keep their baby, government programs should focus less on hand outs that lead to dependence and more on high school completion programs and college credit programs such as childcare money for woman who take college courses to enable them to get good paying jobs. Judgemental and negative comments certainly won't help a young pregnant woman make healthy decisions. I thought Juno was a thoughtful representation of how a family dealt with a crisis, and how a young girl made a very brave, realistic, and generous decision for the well-being of her baby.

Read this real story to your kids, and talk to them about it. Do your kids have the typical teen attitude that THEY won't get infected with an STD, or that THEY won't get pregnant? Talk to your kids about this woman's emotional pain and remorse after abortion. This woman responded in a common manner and intentionally got pregnant to "replace" the aborted baby. This family gave incredible support to their pregnant daughter the second time, helping her get a college education. This woman was able to get married (unlike 40% of single moms). She also makes some suggestions of what social services could do differently so that pregnant women can become more independent instead of reliant on help.

Reality is that being a mother at any age has high points and low points. Mothers at any age have to change their lives and learn to balance new responsibilities and challenges. Talk to your kids about the positive experiences you had as a new mother, and the negative experiences you had. What was your situation when you became pregnant? How did this situation contribute to the positive and negative experiences?

America's Birth Rates

CNN titled their article "Teen pregnancies up for first time in 15 years", based on data from this year's "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" from the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. CNN says that teen pregnancy went up for the first time in 15 years. But that's not explicitely what the data is saying! The data says live BIRTHS to teens increased. Was there an increase in pregnancy, or simply an increase in choosing birth over abortion? Or were there fewer miscarriages? Or was there an increase in multiple births? The data does not talk about any of these factors, so concluding that pregnancy is up is not proveable based on this data. The only thing the data proves is that births were up. It is quite possible that the total number of pregnancies was stable; the data does not say one way or the other.

There were 51 births (not just pregnancies, so these statistics do not include abortions and miscarriages) for every 1,000 unmarried women ages 15–44 in 2006, up from 48 per 1,000 in 2005 (figure 2) [1]. This increase in birth count has many influences: multiple births have increased due to infertility treatments, abortion rates may be lower, as demographics change we may see more births due to varied cultural values, etc. Since abortion rates are not a mandatory reporting category, we have no way to officially and formally compare births to abortions. Some agencies give estimated comparisons based on the limited data that is available. Note that this statistic does not count births to women under the age of 15. I don't know whether this information isn't collected or isn't tabulated, but procedures need to change to account for all births instead of assuming a particular 'childbearing age' range.

In 2006, the adolescent birth rate (to unmarried teens AND married teens combined) [3] was 22 births per 1,000 young women ages 15–17 (138,920 births), up from 21 births per 1,000 in 2005 (Figure 3). This was the first increase in this measure since the increase between 1990 and 1991 [4, 5, 6]. Again, the data is not proving an increase in total numbers of pregnancy, simply an increase in the number of women giving birth.

Between 1991 and 2005, the birth rate for Black, non-Hispanic teenagers ages 15–17 dropped from 86 to 35 per 1,000. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are Black teens choosing birth over abortion slightly more than they did in the past?

Between 1991 and 2004, the birth rate for White, non-Hispanic teenagers dropped from 24 to 12 per 1,000 [4, 6]. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are White teens choosing birth over abortion slithly more than they did in the past?


The birth rate for unmarried women has risen rapidly since 2002. [2]

• The rate had been relatively stable between the mid–1990s and 2002, following a long-term increase between 1960 and 1994.
• In 2006, 38 percent of all births were to unmarried women, up from 37 percent in 2005.

Between 1980 and 2006, the percentage of births to unmarried women rose sharply for women in all age groups:

• Among teenagers, the percentage rose from 62 to 92 percent for ages 15–17 and from 40 to 81 percent for ages 18–19. So apparently teens in the 1980s were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage tripled for births to women in their twenties, from 19 to 58 percent for women ages 20–24 and from 9 to 31 percent for women ages 25–29. Again, apparently 20-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage of births to unmarried women in their thirties more than doubled from 8 to 18 percent. Again, apparently 30-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.

If you are the parent of a daughter who is pregnant and single (at any age group), you are certainly not alone!

[1] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[2] National Center for Health Statistics. National Vital Statistics System. (2007). Unpublished tabulations.
[3] The birth rate for adolescents ages 15–17 includes married and unmarried teenagers.
[4] Martin, J.A., Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., Ventura, S.J., Menacker, F.J., Kirmeyer, S., and Munson, M.L. (2007). Births: Final data for 2005. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(6). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[5] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[6] Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., and Ventura, S.J. (2003). Revised birth and fertility rates for the 1990s: United States, and new rates for Hispanic populations, 2000 and 2001. National Vital Statistics Reports, 51(12). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.

Episode 2 - Secret Life of the American Teenager

Episode 2 of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" had very few statistics in it. A lot of the plot circles around the rumors that are circulating about Amy & Ricky. You can watch the two most-recent episodes online here. Here are a few points from the show, followed by some items to discuss with your teens.

• Amy hasn't told her parents that she's pregnant yet, and is planning to pretend it never happened. She says she figures she has two options: Tell her parents she's pregnant and "ruin the rest of her life", or pretend it never happened.
• Grace's mom talks to Grace about how many women blame themselves when their partner cheats on them, making excuses for his behavior.
• Grace's dad says the reason they gave Grace the promise ring isn't because they don't trust Grace, but because they don't trust the boys she might date. He says that teenage boys in high school are only interested in one thing: sex.
• Ben's friend says that the younger people are when they marry, the more likely the are to divorce, but she doesn't give any numbers.
• Ben tells Amy he doesn't want to know about her past relationships.

Talk to your kids:

• If they needed to tell you they were pregnant, what do they think your reaction would be? What do they wish your ideal reaction would be? What do you think your reaction would be? What do you wish your ideal reaction could be? If your teen needed to tell you they were pregnant, how would you like to be told?



• So far, Amy has been pretty unemotional about being pregnant. In this episode we see that she is firmly planting herself in denial, repeating "Never happened!" If your teen daughter is pregnant, ask her what emotions and thoughts she was having when she was at this point in her pregnancy (about 6 weeks). If your teens are not pregnant, ask them to imagine what they might be feeling and thinking if they were 6 weeks pregnant. When you first became pregnant with your child(ren), what were your thoughts and feelings?



• What do your kids think about being unfaithful in a relationship? Is Jack right that "just one kiss" should be quickly forgiven? (even though we know he's lying about this) What does faithfulness involve? How about "just looking, not touching" - is that cheating? Who is to blame when one partner cheats? Does lack of sexual activity make cheating excusable?



• Stereotyping all high school boys as being interested only in sex may be taking it too far. How is this fictional high school similar to the school your teens attend? How is it different? Are there predatory boys (like Ricky) or girls (like Adrian) in their high school that are looking for sexual conquests?



• What kinds of rumors circulate at your teen's high school? In a previous post, we summarized a recent research study that showed that one of the ways that abusive dates control their partner is by threatening to spread rumors about them. Do your teens know anyone who is being threatened this way? Has anyone ever threatened your teens by saying they will spread rumors about them?



• Thinking forward to when your teens get married some day, will they want to know the complete sexual history of their spouse? Will they want to keep anything hidden themselves? Do your teens think they will care about their spouse's previous sexual experiences? Does the idea of explaining previous sexual experiences to their future spouse cause them to reconsider any of their current activities?



• In our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" we have a chapter titled "Should They Marry?" which has a lot of facts about teen pregnancy and teen marriage. Here's a small excerpt: "Teen marriages generally have a bad reputation as leading to a guaranteed divorce. However, this reputation is not based completely on the facts. Data from the 2002 National Survey on Family Growth* shows that 48% of first marriages by girls under 18 years of age had dissolved by the 10th anniversary. This means that 52% of young teen marriages were still intact after 10 years! To balance the fact that waiting until the age of 23 to marry improves the chance of the marriage lasting 10 years, we have the fact that women who bear a child without marrying the father of the child have a 40% lower likelihood of ever marrying.**" What do your teens think about these statistics? Do they think that considering marriage when pregnant is a good idea or a bad idea? Under what circumstances do they think considering marriage when pregnant would be a good idea and when would it be a bad idea?



• Amy's best friends know she is pregnant and that she hasn't told her parents. If your teens knew their best friend was pregnant in high school, would you want your kids to tell you? How about if your kids knew their best friend was struggling with alcohol - would you want your kids to tell you? How about if your kids knew their best friend was taking drugs, or being beaten up by their date, or being hit by their parents?



• We've seen Amy go to her pediatrician in episode one. Where do your teens think they would go for medical help if they thought they were pregnant? Where would you want your teen to go for help if they thought they were pregnant? Is there anywhere you would not want your teen to go for help if they thought they were pregnant? What are the privacy rules regarding pregnant minors at your kid's primary physician? Would your minor's doctor be required to keep a pregnancy secret from you because of patient confidentiality? Do you know anything about the teen pregnancy related beliefs your teen's doctor holds? If you live in a state where there is no parental notification law and no parental consent law, would your teen's doctor offer your teen an abortion without your knowledge or consent? What about contraceptives?

References:

* "Fertility, Family Planning, and Reproductive Health of U.S. Women: Data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth." Vital and Health Statistics, Series 23, Number 25, December 2005. U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics.

** Daniel Lichter and Deborah Roempke Graefe, "Finding a Mate? The Marital and Cohabitation Histories of Unwed Mothers," in Lawrence Wu and Barbara Wolfe (eds.), "Out of Wedlock: Trends, Causes and Consequences of Non-marital Fertility." New York: Russell Sage Foundation, 2001.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a discussion guide for this episode too (PDF file).

"Seven Steps to Forgiveness" by R.T. Kendall

The following is a summary/outline of the points made by guest R.T. Kendall on the Focus On The Family radio program "Finding True Forgiveness."

Seven Steps to Forgiveness

1. Do not let anyone know what someone said about, or did to you.
2. Do not allow anyone to be afraid of you or intimidated by you.
3. Allow them to forgive themselves and not feel guilty.
4. Let them save face.
5. Protect them from their darkest secret and greatest fear.
6. It is a lifelong commitment.
7. Pray for them to be blessed.

What Forgiveness is Not

1. Approval of what they did.
2. Excusing what they did.
3. Justifying what they did.
4. Pardoning what they did.
5. Reconciliation.
6. Denying what they did.

There may be a lot of people you need to forgive when your single daughter is pregnant. You may need to forgive your daughter, the baby's father, his family, your friends and family for the way they react, yourself, and others.

How can we apply these steps to forgiveness to a Christian daughter who is single and pregnant?

1. "Do not let anyone know what someone said about, or did to you." Okay, pregnancy is going to be obvious at some point, and this sentiment is not a support of abortion. To apply this one, let's instead focus on perhaps not complaining to everyone about how much your daughter embarrassed you, hurt you, angered you, or shamed you. How about not complaining to everyone about your daughter's character, or the character of the baby's father? If you really need to vent your frustrations, pick a mature, trustworthy person such as a counselor or pastor who will not gossip about what you share.

2. "Do not allow anyone to be afraid of you or intimidated by you." Is your anger at your daughter a scary thing? Was she afraid to tell you she was pregnant because she guessed your reaction would be intimidating? Do you need to apologize to her for the way you've acted since discovering her pregnancy?

3. "Allow them to forgive themselves and not feel guilty." Your daughter may feel guilty about her sexual activity. If she willingly participated, this guilt could be the Holy Spirit prompting her that she has sinned and needs to confess. Once she has repented and asked forgiveness, guilty feelings may be unhealthy (meaning that they are no longer pointing out the need for confession). Corrie ten Boom used to talk about God's forgiveness by saying that He placed our sins at the bottom of the ocean and then put up a buoy with a sign that says "No Fishing." If your daughter has repented, don't keep bringing up her sin. Don't fish. Leave it alone.

4. "Let them save face." Ask your daughter what this would mean to her. Does it mean that she wants to tell people about the pregnancy instead of you doing it? Or does it mean she wants you to tell people instead of her doing it? Does it mean she would like to live with a relative during the pregnancy? What would 'saving face' mean to her in this situation? Are any of her ideas for this realistic possibilities? If they are possible, pray and talk about making them happen.

5. "Protect them from their darkest secret and greatest fear." Talk with your daughter about this. What is her greatest fear about being single and pregnant? What is her darkest secret about this pregnancy? Brainstorm together about what kind of protection can be offered. For example, if she is in an abusive relationship is she afraid for her safety and the safety of her baby?

6. "It is a lifelong commitment." Forgiving your daughter for a particular thing may take a lifetime of upkeep on your part. You may have unforgiving thoughts and feelings resurface that you must choose to deal with again. You may have to repeatedly choose not to "fish" around and bring up her past sins that you say you have forgiven. Perhaps she will make the same mistake again in the future and you will have to choose whether or not to berate her for her past mistakes again.

7. "Pray for them to be blessed." When you are in the midst of anger and pain, this kind of prayer can seem impossible. You may not feel like your daughter deserves blessing because of the things she has chosen to do. You certainly do not have to pray that her sin be blessed, because sin cannot be blessed. However, the consequences of sin can prompt someone to repent and turn their life around. This in itself may be a blessing to the person whose life is changed. Repentance and a changed life can open the door to other blessings, and that is hopefully something you can pray for your daughter to receive.

Forgiving your pregnant single daughter does not mean you must approve of her willing participation in sexual activity outside of marriage. You can love your daughter and hate her actions. Forgiving your daughter does not mean you must excuse her willing participation in sexual activity outside of marriage. Forgiving your pregnant single daughter does not mean you must pardon her willing actions: there may be consequences she needs to face, possibly even punishments depending on the situation. Forgiving your pregnant single daughter does not mean you must reconcile your relationship with her. For reconciliation to occur, you both have to be trustworthy people. You can forgive her even if she is not yet trustworthy for a relationship.

For more about forgiveness when your single daughter is pregnant, read the chapters in our book ("How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy") titled "Forgiving the Baby's Father," "Forgiving The Young Man's Parents," "Forgiving Myself," "Forgiving My Daughter," and "Forgiving Unkind Acquaintances."

Secrets

By blogging about alternative living arrangements such as maternity homes, and about adoption, we've touched painful places in people's lives. A Christian pregnant single faces difficult decisions no matter what she chooses: being a single mother can be difficult (see here, here, here, and here for example to see what challenges the single mother and child will need to solve), being married can be difficult (what relationship on earth does NOT have its ups and downs??), having an abortion can be difficult (see here, here and here), and making an adoption plan can be difficult. There are no easy paths, and these decisions affect not only the future physical, emotional and spiritual health of the woman and her child but also the baby's father, her family and the family of the baby's father. No decision should be made casually or quickly..they all require research, prayer, Godly input from outside sources, and time to think the decision over carefully.

Here are bits of the emails we got recently that we'd like to respond to.

As a Christian myself I was always raised with the belief that children were blessings from God. Certainly it was considered a sin to have sex outside of marriage, but that child was not the sin, simply the mother's actions. Certainly I'm not an adovcate of running around getting pregnant without being married, however it concerns me that you are encouraging parents (of WOMEN 25 and under...well above the legal minor age of 18), to continue to judge their daughters if they get pregnant.

We absolutely agree that children are a blessing from God. Psalm 127:3 is very clear about children, "Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalm 139 also discusses the wonder of children: "13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it. 15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 16 You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. " (NLT)

In this previous post (and this one, among others) we also agree that we should not love the sin, but should love the sinner. With social researchers and commentators saying that adolesence now persists into the mid 20s or even 30s (here and here, for example), with more and more college graduates (up to 50%) moving back in with their parents, with age 25 being the average age of marriage for women in America currently, parents of both teens and 20-somethings may find themselves with a pregnant single under their roof. Should these Christian parents be judging their daughters? (Matthew 7:1, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." and Luke 6:37, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.") So no, judging is not appropriate as Christians. But parents do have to evaluate actions and consequences as with any other situation (Proverbs 10:17; Hebrews 12:7-8; Hebrews 12:11; Revelation 3:19; and others). Christian families with pregnant singles do exist and some of them do desire advice from a Christian perspective. These are the families we're attempting to reach out to.

It seems as if your blog is promoting shame and secrecy, much like eras past where women were sent to maternity homes to hide their unwed pregnancies.

We definitely do not want to promote secrecy! Consider, though, that there are many reasons for a pregnant woman to live at a maternity home besides secrecy! Sometimes the pregnant woman is homeless for various reasons. Sometimes she needs to escape from damaging relationships. Sometimes she desires the in-depth counseling, education classes and skill building classes that many maternity homes offer. Sometimes she wants to live with other pregnant women so that she doesn't feel alone in her situation. Most maternity homes interview the pregnant woman...if she doesn't want to be there, they probably won't accept her into their program. Most maternity homes have waiting lists of women that actively want to be there and they will not allocate a bed to those who do not want the program they offer. As we mention in our post about maternity homes, "forcing" someone to live there makes many more long-term problems than it may solve short term.

Both the pregnant woman and her parents need to think and pray a lot about any decision about the preborn child where the main motivation is secrecy. In our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy," we talk several times about the fact that secrecy can be very damaging emotionally and spiritually. Two chapters, "Trying to Hide", and "Sharing with Family and Friends" in particular deal with this topic.

Thank you for reading our blog, we welcome your feedback!

Facts on Teen Abortion Risks

It may seem that a quick solution to your single daughter's pregnancy is a quiet abortion. But there are some long-term risks you need to talk about. Ask your daughter if she has had an abortion in her past. If so, talk to her about these risks...does she need counseling to help her recovery from the abortion trauma? The following list of risks to teens was published by The Elliot Institute:

• Teenagers are 6 times more likely to attempt suicide if they have had an abortion in the last six months than are teens who have not had an abortion.[1]
  
• Teens who abort are up to 4 times more likely to commit suicide than adults who abort,[2] and a history of abortion is likely to be associated with adolescent suicidal thinking.[1]
  
• Teens who abort are more likely to develop psychological problems,[3] and are nearly three times more likely to be admitted to mental health hospitals than teens in general.[4]
  
• About 40% of teen abortions take place with no parental involvement,[5] leaving parents in the dark about subsequent emotional or physical problems.
  
• Teens are 5 times more likely to seek subsequent help for psychological and emotional problems compared to their peers who carry “unwanted pregnancies” to term.[6]
  
• Teens are 3 times more likely to report subsequent trouble sleeping, and nine times more likely to report subsequent marijuana use after abortion.[6]
  
• Among studies comparing abortion vs. carrying to term, worse outcomes are associated with abortion, even when the pregnancy is unplanned.[6]
  

For more facts on teens and abortion, click here (Adobe Reader required).

Citations

1. B. Garfinkel, et al., “Stress, Depression and Suicide: A Study of Adolescents in Minnesota ,” Responding to High Risk Youth (University of Minnesota: Minnesota Extension Service, 1986)
2. M. Gissler, et. al., “Suicides After Pregnancy in Finland : 1987-94: register linkage study,” British Medical Journal, 313: 1431-1434, 1996; and N. Campbell , et. al., “Abortion in Adolescence,” Adolescence, 23:813-823, 1988.
3. W. Franz & D. Reardon, “Differential Impact of Abortion on adolescents and adults,” Adolescence, 27 (105), 172, 1992.
4. R. Somers, “Risk of Admission to Psychiatric Institutions Among Danish Women Who Experienced Induced Abortion: An Analysis Based on National Report Linkage” (Ph.D. Dissertation, Los Angeles: University of California, 1979, Disseration Abstracts International, Public Health 2621-B, Order No. 7926066)
5. “Teenage Pregnancy: Overall Trends and State-by-State Information,” Report by the Alan Guttmacher Institute, Washington , DC .
6. PK Coleman, “Resolution of Unwanted Pregnancy During Adolescence Through Abortion Versus Childbirth: Individual and Family Predictors and Psychological Consequences,” (2006).

A Generation at Risk

How Teens Are Coerced and Manipulated Into Abortion

by Amy Sobie & David C. Reardon

Editor's Note: The following article is excerpted from the Jan.-March 2000 issue of The Post-Abortion Review.

Gaylene was 14 when she became pregnant. Too embarrassed to go directly to her parents, she turned to her high school guidance counselor for advice. She writes:

[The school counselor] was sympathetic and understanding. He felt there was no need to worry my family. He also explained about having a child, how tough it would be on me and that I wouldn’t be able to do what I wanted to do. He said that the child would suffer because I was much too young to be a parent. He pointed out that the best thing for me to do was to abort the fetus at this stage so no one would be hurt. No mention was made of talking to my parents about this or carrying the baby to term. He indicated that adoption would be difficult and not an option for me.

. . . I felt as though I had no control over what was happening to me. I started to question what I was doing, but in my logic I’d refer back to what the counselor had told me, and then I would think he was right. But still today, I feel like I did not decide to have the abortion.¹

Gaylene’s traumatic reaction to her abortion experience included suicide attempts, alcoholism, drugs, crime, involvement in a cult and a major break with her family.

Sadly, Gaylene’s story is not unique. For teens, the possibility of developing psychological and emotional problems after abortion is substantially higher than for more mature women.² One reason that teenagers are more vulnerable is because their psychological defense mechanisms are not fully developed. Their emotional immaturity leaves them more susceptible to events and circumstances that can profoundly damage their view of the world, other people, and themselves. Consequently, abortion can be especially harmful for teens because this major, traumatic experience occurs at a critical time in the development of their self-identity.³

Researchers have found that teenagers who have abortions face a number of higher risks. For example, teens are more likely to feel pressured into abortion, to report being misinformed in pre-abortion counseling and to experience more severe psychological stress after abortion.⁴ They are also more likely to experience more intense feelings of guilt, depression and isolation after an abortion.⁵ In addition, while suicidal tendencies are higher for all women after abortion, teens are at an even greater risk for post-abortion suicide.⁶

Further, a study of teens with "unwanted" pregnancies found that teens who aborted were more likely to have subsequent trouble sleeping, to report using marijuana after abortion and to undergo treatment for psychological and emotional problems compared to those who carried to term.⁷

Deception and Misinformation

Many teens are simply not mature enough to understand the information they need to make such a life-impacting choice. As a result, in many cases they are not able to freely consent to an abortion.

Even some pro-abortion groups have acknowledged that teenagers need extra guidance when it comes to abortion. For example, a Planned Parenthood counseling guide stated that teenagers have few or limited problem solving skills; are more likely than adults to lack responsibility; are more vulnerable; are more anxious and distrustful; are lacking in knowledge; and have difficulty in communicating. As a result, “counselors need to be aware of and appreciate the fact that pregnancy counseling with teenagers can be very different from counseling adults . . . pregnancy counseling with teens is often a crisis situation.”⁸

Unfortunately, while Planned Parenthood counselors recognize the vulnerability of teens, they oppose laws that would give the parents of teens the opportunity to help them understand the risks of and alternatives to abortion. For counselors who seek to promote abortion as the best or even only solution, keeping teens away from loved ones who would counsel against abortion is an important part of maximizing their own influence.

This is why so many teens feel under such immense pressure to abort. Over and over, women who had abortion as teenagers use phrases like the following to explain how they ended up having an unwanted abortion.

My school counselor (Planned Parenthood counselor, teacher, pastor, boyfriend’s mom, etc.) told me that if I didn’t want my parents to find out, I would have to have an abortion . . .

My boyfriend threatened me if I didn’t abort.

Everyone told me I was too young to have a baby and that my only alternative was abortion.

Pressure to abort can also include coercion, emotional blackmail and violence from a sexual predator or even parents who want to make sure their daughter has an abortion.⁹

In addition, a secret abortion always disrupts family relationships. To protect their secret, teenagers must be constantly on the alert against any evidence or mood that may invite unwanted questions. They must hide feelings of depression, sadness, and even thoughts of suicide that might otherwise alert their parents to the problem. If they cannot repress these feelings, the source must remain hidden or their emotions transformed into anger and rebellion. This overarching need for secrecy accentuates their feelings of shame and will often lead to withdrawal from family intimacy and excursions into drugs, alcohol and destructive relationships.

Any of these problems can dramatically exacerbate normal family tensions. Kept in the dark, parents cannot know that their child is struggling to cope with his or her abortion experience. With no frame of reference for understanding their child’s disturbed behavior, parents are likely to become increasingly frustrated at being held at a distance. In turn, the parents’ frustrations are likely to fuel the distrust or rebellious nature of the teen because they “simply don’t understand” what he or she is going through.

Targeting Teens

Unfortunately school counselors, social workers and others in positions of authority can exert tremendous influence over a vulnerable teenager, steering and even coercing her into an unwanted abortion.

For example, William Hickey, a high school guidance counselor in Hatboro , Pennsylvania , was sued by the parents of a 16-year-old girl for circumventing the state’s parental consent law by arranging for the teen to have a secret abortion in New Jersey . The girl’s parents, Howard and Marie Carter, subsequently filed a lawsuit against Hickey and the Hatboro-Horsham school district, charging that Hickey pressured their daughter to have an abortion despite her expressed doubts and beliefs against abortion.

The Carters said that Hickey “engaged in a course of conduct which was inherently coercive, was intended to and did exert undue influence upon [a minor], and ensured that she refrain from discussing with her parents her pregnancy and whether to obtain an abortion.” They said that when their daughter told Hickey she had doubts about undergoing an abortion, he told her, “Someday you’ll look back on this and laugh.”

The lawsuit also stated that school officials refused to cooperate when asked to investigate the situation. Instead, the Carters say they were told that the school district “has deep pockets” to defend itself from a lawsuit. The case was eventually settled out of court.⁹

Other examples of manipulation and coercion abound. In 2002, a judge found Planned Parenthood negligent for failing to report the case of an abortion performed on a 13-year-old girl who was being sexually abused by her foster brother. The 23-year-old man took the girl to a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic in 1998, but Planned Parenthood did not notify authorities until the girl returned six months later for a second abortion. A lawsuit alleged that the girl was subjected to repeated abuse and a second abortion because Planned Parenthood failed to notify authorities of possible abuse when she had her first abortion. Her abuser was sentenced to five years in prison and lifetime probation.¹⁰

Conclusion

Unfortunately, there are few safeguards currently in place to protect teenagers from coerced abortions. As we pointed out in a previous issue, in states where parental consent is needed for an abortion, the judicial bypass system is seriously flawed.

Without a mechanism to provide for cross-examination of witnesses and the introduction of witnesses who would testify that the abortion is not in the girl’s best interests, how can judges make an informed decision? How can we be sure that the adults seeking permission for the young girl to abort without notifying her parents are not themselves manipulating or pressuring the girl to choose abortion?

In addition, as the Carter case discussed above demonstrates, even in states that require parental consent, it is all too easy for those pushing abortion to simply transport the girl across the state line. The Child Custody Protection Act would make it a federal crime for anyone except a parent or legal guardian to take a girl out of state for an abortion in order to avoid involvement in the situation by the girl’s parents.

Even this will only protect a few teens, however. Sadly, in many cases it is the parents who are pressuring or coercing their teenage daughters into abortion. Planned Parenthood, however, is remarkably silent regarding the problem of protecting teens from pressure or manipulation by parents who favor abortion. The only way to protect these teens is to pass laws that will make abortionists liable for failing to protect women, especially teens, from coerced abortions.

~~~

Originally published in The Post-Abortion Review 8(1) Winter 2000. Copyright 2000 Elliot Institute.

Citations

1. Reardon, D., Aborted Women, Silent No More ( Springfield , IL : Acorn Books, 2002) 37-38.
2. Rue, V. & Speckhard, A, “Post Abortion Trauma: Incidence & Diagnostic Considerations,” Medicine & Mind, 6: 57-75 (1991).
3. Deutsch, M., “Personality Factors, Self-Concept, and Family Variables Related to First Time and Repeat Abortion-Seeking Behavior in Adolescent Women.” Unpublished Doctoral Dissertation, Washington , D.C. : American University , 1982.
4. Franz, W. & Reardon, D., “Differential Impact of Abortion on Adolescents & Adults,” Adolescence, 27(105):162-172.
5. Biro, F., Wildey, L., Hillard, P., & Rauh, J., “Acute and Long-Term Consequences of Adolescents Who Choose Abortions,” Pediatric Annals, 15(10):667-672 (1986).
6. Mika Gissler, Elina Hemminki, Jouko Lonnqvist, "Suicides after pregnancy in Finland : 1987-94: register linkage study," British Medical Journal 313:14314, 1996; Campbell, N., Franco, K. & Jurs, S., “Abortion in Adolescence,” Adolescence, 23:813-823 (1988).
7. PK Coleman, “Resolution of Unwanted Pregnancy During Adolescence Through Abortion Versus Childbirth: Individual and Family Predictors and Psychological Consequences,” (2006).

8. Saltzman, L. & Policar, M., The Complete Guide to Pregnancy Testing and Counseling (Alameda, CA: Planned Parenthood, 1985) 113-114.

9. For more examples, see the book Giving Sorrow Words.
9. "Settlement announced in Pennsylvania Teen Abortion Case," press release from the American Center for Law & Justice, March 15, 2000.

10. "Planned Parenthood Found Negligent in Reporting Molested Teen's Abortion," Pro-Life Infonet, Dec. 26, 2002.

Rebekah's Story

This is the real story of a young woman named Rebekah who was single and pregnant.

I am a living example of how being a born again Christian does not shield you from Satan’s power, if you do not walk with the Lord. My dad was a missionary pilot in the Philippines. I am a Bible college graduate. I was saved when I was 15 years old.

Yet a few years after graduating from college, I was in a good job, driving a nice sports car and had lost sight of God in the midst of my success. I became a very lonely person, spending my time looking for happiness in other areas of my life … partying, excessive drinking, sexual impurity, and looking for fulfillment with the wrong kind of men. Two years ago, after a long series of selfish choices, I had reached a point in a “roller coaster” of life where everything I had ever believed was challenged, and I made the wrong choice – I was pregnant and I chose to have an abortion rather than ruin my career or let my parents find out about my lifestyle.

For the next several months, I struggled alone with deep depression, suicidal thoughts, anger and the guilt and shame of what I had done. I had shattered my family’s trust in me, emerged from a destructive relationship barely intact and was so absolutely overwhelmed by my sins that I spent nights crying in despair, wondering how I had reached this point in my life and how God could ever love me back to Himself. 1 John 3:9 says that no one born of God can live at peace with sin and God finally had my attention. After a couple of months, I knew I could not do it alone anymore. I finally took the painful steps of telling my family what I had done and asking for their forgiveness. I also began attending a post-abortion Bible study at Assist Pregnancy Center and after many months of prayer and working through my grief, began to understand the depth of God’s love and forgiveness. What impacted me through the Bible study at that time was this:

• I was encouraged to talk about my abortion experience and feelings without fear of judgment, was listened to and encouraged by other women in the course, and was reminded of God’s promises in Scripture.
• I was able to identify why I was feeling the emotions I was experiencing and began the slow process of working through them – unprovoked anger, bitterness, moments of denial, and overwhelming grief.
• I learned to identify the emotional triggers that prevented my healing.
• I learned how easily we buy into the world’s lies – how so many are told that abortion is an “easy solution,” “it’s the best decision for this time in your life”, “it’s over and done with” or “what will your parents think”.
• I learned how sexual immorality leads to a bondage of sexual ties in bad relationships, how to break those ties and repair the sexual damage I had done to my heart and soul.

Although the healing process takes a long time, I was emotionally better equipped to face my daily challenges at the end of our eight week course. I knew I could call on anyone at Assist for additional guidance or a hug anytime I needed it. Everything that happens, happens for a reason and God can work everything together for His purpose. I am now back in church, deeply involved with my small groups and growing again in my faith. It’s amazing to see how God brings opportunities for me to share my life experiences with others to be an encouragement. I am joyful, knowing that God will use my past and my story to help others understand His undeserved grace and unconditional love.

In our book, "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for Parents of A Pregnant Christian Single," we share at least one true story in every chapter. You are not alone, and reading the stories of others who have been where you are is such a comfort!

Call 800-395-HELP to find a pregnancy resource center near you that can come alongside your family to support you all. Talk to your daughter about the pain that secrets can cause. Talk to her about how you may be hurt or angry when a secret such as a pregnancy or an abortion is revealed but that you love her and you don't want any secrets poisoning your relationship.

Listen In TODAY!

Today - join us good advice, compelling and inspired stories on Beyond The Bandaide with Joyce Zounis, featuring Linda Perry on May 19 & 28! Listen at http://www.nplr.net/ at 2:00 pm Central time, May 19 & May 28. Once there, click "Tune In Now", download the free Live365 internet radio player if you don't already have it, and you're ready to listen!

EDITED:
If you missed today's broadcast, you can tune in again on May 28. OR you can listen to and watch the 26 minute interview right here via streaming audio. In this interview, Linda Perry ...

• Shares her own story of how her peers urged her to abort her daughter in 1971.
• Gives an overview of the work of CareNet and the work of pregnancy help centers.
• Describes sexual integrity as the solution to avoid unwanted pregnancy.
• Talks about the support system that a woman needs when making a decision about the outcome of her pregnancy.
• Describes some of the resources available through ChalfontHouse.com for abortion recovery and surviving your single daughter's pregnancy.

Get a glimpse into one mind

Here are summaries from an actual blog belonging to a teen who is actively trying to get pregnant. You can see a bit of her thought processes and her motives, which are examples of answers to "why do some teens get pregnant." Obviously, not every pregnant teen feels like this, but some do. Entries have been summarized, but the underlying thoughts have not been altered. These entries are written over an 8 week period.



Day 1– She calls her boyfriend the "love of my life" and announces she is trying to conceive a baby with him.

Day 2 – She tells of a conversation with her boyfriend where he questions whether now is a good time to get pregnant since they are both still in school. She says, "But my best friend is pregnant and I feel so lonely." Some peer pressure here...she wants to fit in. She notes that she will try to talk him into agreeing to the pregnancy, that she doesn't want to wait until she's done with school.

Day 4- She notes that she should start saving money to care for the baby, commenting that her mother was poor when she was born and thus she ended up being raised by her grandmother. She promises herself that her baby will not be raised by its grandmother, her mother, and complains about the parenting she has received.

Day 6 – She reaffirms that she is intentionally trying to get pregnant. "I’m hoping by this time next year I'll have my own little bundle of joy." Either this is just a phrase, or she is hoping the baby will provide her with emotional fulfillment such as joy and unconditional love.

Day 8 – She tells the story of a previous miscarriage she had, and again hopes that she is pregnant. She has not finished grieving the lost child, and may be trying to replace the baby that was miscarried. When a woman has an abortion and then intentionally gets pregnant again, the new baby is called an 'Atonement child'. When trying to get pregnant again rapidly following a miscarriage, the baby is a 'Replacement child'.

Day 9 - She is very upset that she had a big fight with her boyfriend and they broke up. She says, "God, I hope I’m pregnant – it’s the only way to talk him back into loving me." Many women of all ages believe that they can restore a broken relationship by turning up pregnant with his child.

Day 14 – She is very upset because her old boyfriend has started dating someone else. She says, "I’ve never cried this much over a stupid boy. This must mean something. I’m praying a lot lately, asking God to forgive me and bless me and my ex-boyfriend - bless us with a child or make his parents love me or something. I’m praying for this life to stop being a wreck and for my heart to finally be whole." Many women of all ages believe that a child will fulfill all of the mother's emotional needs, which is a heavy burden to expect out of any human, and even more so for an infant.

Day 24 - She is analyzing every physical symptom she has, hoping that they indicate pregnancy. She ends the post with, "If I don’t get my period, then God loves me and wants my ex-boyfriend to be mine. If I do, then maybe it’s not meant to be or at least not right now." Again, she is hoping to hold on to the relationship by having a baby with him.

Day 28 - As it becomes clear that she is not pregnant, she is upset: "I’m about to cry - this was my last shot to get my ex-boyfriend back."

Day 54 - The next month, she has moved on and met a new boyfriend who is her age, and she wastes little time in building a relationship with him but instead says, "I’m considering trying to conceive with him."

Talk with your daughter about these thoughts. Is she feeling peer pressure to be sexually active? Are there aspects of home life she is trying to escape from by being sexually active? Is she believing that having a baby will get her out of the house? What is she hoping/expecting a baby to provide her emotionally? Is she trying to replace a child lost to abortion or miscarriage? Is she trying to hold on to a guy by getting pregnant?

Is your pregnant daughter safe?

News from Italy on May 14 tells of a 14-year-old possibly pregnant girl (autopsy not finished at time of this post) who was murdered by the three boys who might have been the father of the baby. The boy's were afraid she would tell people that one of them was the father. So they killed her.

Also 14-years-old, Chelsea Brooks of Kansas (9 months pregnant) was murdered by a hit man hired by the father of the baby. That trial will start soon.

This ABC News story from 2005 discusses "Why Pregnant Women Are Targeted", and cites two horrible statistics:

A study published in the March 2005 edition of the American Journal of Public Health found that homicide was a leading cause of death among pregnant women in the United States between 1991 and 1999.

A 2001 study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association said 20 percent of Maryland women who died during pregnancy were murdered. Researchers found the same trend in New York from 1987-1991 and in the Chicago area from 1986-1989. According to the CDC, approximately 324,000 pregnant women are hurt by an intimate partner or former partner each year.

Why do men kill their pregnant partners? "The usual reason when it involves a man is the [unborn] baby. The baby is causing a complication in his life," said Pat Brown, profiler and chief executive officer of The Pat Brown Criminal Profiling Agency."

Consider talking to the father of your daughter's baby (and his family, if possible). Does he see the baby as "obstacle to the life he wants to lead, a burden, a lifelong obligation of child support"? If so, consider your daughter's physical safety. The article mentions that if the baby's father is trying to control your daughter, that this is a warning sign to keep in mind. Another ABC News story adds to this line of thought:

Despite the various motives, experts say all these killings have a common denominator: a need for control. Pregnancy can make domineering husbands and
boyfriends feel like they are no longer powerful and in control, especially in abusive relationships. Murder is the ultimate demonstration of control. "What we find with men who are violent toward their intimate partner is that he feels that he's lost control or possession over her or her body," said Cates. "He feels that he is not getting the attention that he deserves. He often feels … that he's lost his place to the baby."

Other reasons the father's baby may try to hurt your daughter include:

• He wants her to get an abortion, and she refuses
• He wants to keep the pregnancy secret
• He doesn't want to pay child support

Ask your daughter to be honest with you: Has her partner been abusing her verbally or physically? If so, get her the counseling and medical treatment she needs, and figure out what steps you need to take to keep her safe from the baby's father.

The Grief Cycle

Yes! The grief cycle applies to YOU, the parent of a single daughter who is pregnant! The grief cycle most likely also applies to your daughter. You are both facing real and perceived losses. Journal about the things you feel loss about in this situation. Have your daughter do the same, and talk about your lists together.

When you heard the news that your daughter was pregnant, you may have felt shock and pain. These are the beginning stages of the grief cycle. We each experience grief differently, but the phases of the cycle apply to us all. We each need to study how we feel and act during painful events so that we can learn to respond instead of react.

When discovering that their daughter is pregnant, some parents feel a strange sense that their daughter has died. The realities of her situation do not mesh up to their mental picture of their daughter, and they struggle to reconcile these two perceived versions of their daughter. Perhaps the mental image of their daughter seems dead as compared to the physical loved one in front of them. Sometimes parents feel that they no longer know who their daughter is.

Parents may also feel that the hopes and dreams they had for their daughter have died because she is pregnant. Hopefully you can come to see that almost all the hopes and dreams you had for your daughter can still be achieved after the detour of pregnancy. Your daughter's pregnancy is not the end of the world, and your daughter has not physically died, nor has your grandchild that she is carrying.

The grief cycle starts with denial or disbelief, and these reactions can be very strong. It is likely that your daughter has already dealt with denial to some degree and had to overcome it in order to admit to herself and to you that she is indeed pregnant. So your daughter may be slightly ahead of you in her own grief cycle. Do not give in to the temptation to ignore or minimize the situation. You must process your feelings so that you can move forward...there are many decisions to think and pray about! Denial of your daughter's pregnancy will not make the situation go away. Abortion sometimes seems like a way to deny that your daughter is pregnant. However, your daughter is now a mother, you are now a grandparent, and the question is will she be the mother of a dead child and you the grandparent of a dead grandchild, or of a living one?

The next phases of the grief cycle are anger, depression, and bargaining. These too can be very strong emotions. You may feel anger at your daughter, at the father of your grandchild, at your spouse, at your family, yourself, and the world in general. Depression has been defined by some as "anger turned inward over a period of time". Pay attention to your thoughts and physical feelings. Watch for symptoms of depression in yourself, your family, and your pregnant daughter. Watch for symptoms of prolonged anger (headaches, stomach pain, heart problems, etc.) in yourself, your family, and your daughter. Seek the help that you and your family need. Examine yourself to see if you are avoiding or suppressing the pain you feel... it usually does not go away but will simply surface in other aspects of your life. Chapter 1 "Hearing the Shocking News" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" talks more about the grief cycle and offers exercises to help you examine your emotions.

Share with us by commenting: where do you think you are in the grief cycle right now?

Staying in School in Martinsville

The Martinsville Bulletin (Martinsville, Virginia) had a recent article titled "Teen Pregnancy Targeted" saying that the town of Martinsville has a teen pregnancy rate more than double the state average:

Kizner said that in Martinsville for every 1,000 females aged 15-17, 66 are pregnant (based on live-birth statistics). The state average is 27 out of 1,000. Henry County’s teenage pregnancy rate is 40 out of 1,000. He was quoting statistics for 2006 (the most recent available) from the Annie E. Casey Foundation. Sixty-six percent of babies born in Martinsville have unwed mothers, compared with 34 percent for the state and 52 percent for Henry County, he said.

Note that these statistics are for a very narrow range of teens (15-17) instead of ages 13-19, and that they do not distinguish married teens from unmarried teens. It can be hard sometimes to determine if apples are being compared to apples in short quotes like these, but let's assume that the speakers performed their due diligence to provide accurate comparisions.

What I found really interesting is that School Superintendent Scott Kizner is focused on helping these young mothers finish their secondary education so that they are prepared to enter the workforce and help themselves and the depressed Martinsville community! He doesn't berate teens or say that more money needs to be spent on prevention-only. He recognizes that some teens will get pregnant and that helping them finish secondary education helps everyone - the mother, her child(ren), and the community. To this end, he is trying to get help to create flexible education opportunities so that young mothers do not drop out of school simply because they become pregnant.

Does your community have opportunities for your daughter to finish her secondary education? Fairfax County, Viriginia, has an alternative high school and other programs available... what does your county offer?

Finally, Kizner knows that some people will believe “this will encourage teenagers to have babies if we help them too much." What's your opinion on this? Does the presence of social services encourage teens to get pregnant? If help is not present, would that simply raise the abortion rate instead of preventing pregnancy? Is help with education "too much" help for teens? What services would you provide if you were in charge, and what services would you deny? Leave us a comment with your thoughts!

Access to prenatal care

Here in Prince William County (where Chalfont House is located), Virginia, the Board of Supervisors approved an illegal immigration crackdown in October 2007. This has apparently begun having an impact on illegal Hispanics who have sought prenatal care, according to this article by the Examiner even though the law does not reduce illegal's access to prenatal care. Always a highly charged issue, the article drew heated comments on both sides.

Women need to seek prenatal care as soon as they discover they are pregnant, according to this WebMD article. So even if the pregnant woman is considering an abortion (tell the receptionist if this is the case so that they can try to get you in sooner), she should go to a doctor for a prenatal exam... the doctor can determine how far along she is, whether the pregnancy is tubal (2% of all pregnancies are!), and can test for STDs that may need immediate treatment.

Teen Pregnancy Is Only A Tragedy If You Make It One

Merriam-Webster defines a tragedy as a disasterous event. Pregnancy does not have to be a tragedy, a disasterous event. Will there be changes to life? Absolutely. But there are expected and unexpected changes to all aspects of a life. A married couple planning a pregnancy may still feel overwhelmed by the changes in their lives when they successfully get pregnant. Change itself is not a disaster. How we react to change of any kind, pregnancy included, is what defines the emotional impact of the event.

Scott Lyons wrote an opinion article for "Indian Country Today" called "Teen Pregnancy is not a tragedy". He mentions that his 18-year old daughter, a senior in high school, is pregnant and planning to parent the child after considering both adoption and abortion. He says, "as her father, I left such decisions up to her and didn't try to sway her any which way. (This, I learned, is the most psychologically healthy way for any parent to respond to a pregnant teenager.)" Yet Lyons goes on to say that he believes children represent Hope and that they are sacred beings.

What do you think of this response? Do you infer that it shows no emotions about the fate of his grandchild? Do you think that this type of response is actually a cop-out? What do children represent to you?