Real story: Jelysa and Kyje

The New York Daily News had an article recently, titled "Teen, interrupted: Youthful pregnancies, from 'Juno' to Juneau". One part of the article was a real story of a young mother:

"It's hard as a teen mom, but it motivated me ," says Jelysa Roberts, a Brooklyn mom who had her son Kyje when she was just 16. "I can't think about myself anymore. I'm thinking about somebody else, who is looking up to me to be their guide and protector. It really made me know I can't make any mistakes right now." So far, Roberts is succeeding. Now 19, she graduated high school with the rest of her class in 2006, despite having to switch schools. Roberts discovered she was pregnant just before she started her junior year at a Catholic school. When administrators found out, they suggested she attend a public school for pregnant teens and new moms. "I was used to competitive classes," Roberts recalls, explaining how the alternative school lumped her (then an 11th grader) into classes with kids from the ninth and 10th grades. "The classes I needed to keep on track with everybody else weren't available to me," she says. But Roberts stuck it out at the transitional school and eventually returned to her original school, and graduated with a Regents diploma. The dedicated mom is now a nursing student at Kingsborough Community College, where she's working toward her bachelor's degree while caring for 3-year-old Kyje.

If your teen daughter is pregnant, brainstorm with her how she can finish her high school education at a minimum.

Finding help and local resources

"Programs help teen mothers" is an article from a recent Ohio town newspaper (you may have to scroll down the page some) that gives an overview of the programs available to help teen mothers in their town.

Their "GRADS" program helps pregnant teens develop a plan of how to finish their education and manage their parenting responsibilities, with the primary goal of helping girls stay in school and graduate. The program counselor "also talks with the teens about parenting skills, money management and career planning."

The article also discusses services offered by their local pregnancy help centers, which teach mothers about what to do if "the baby can’t stop crying, what’s the best way to communicate with the baby, how to play with the baby and first aid for the baby." The pregnancy help centers also have services for the parents of the pregnant teen, and the father of the baby: “The parents of a pregnant teen — they go through every possible emotion,” Dicke said, citing anger and frustration at the top of the list. “They (the teenager) need unconditional love and support. You have to go beyond the anger and the hurt, you still have to love them. That person is still your child.” Dicke said teenage boys involved in an unplanned pregnancy are often frustrated with the situation as well.“They’re upset that they made a mistake and that’s why they don’t want to tell their parents and hear about it again.”

See if your community offers a program like this that would be of help to you and your daughter.

Episode 9 - Secret Life of the American Teenager

Thanks for stopping by our blog! You can read about previous episodes of "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" by clicking the label "Media" here or at the end of this post. You can watch some of the episodes online here (click the tab called "Full Episode"). Here are a few points from Episode 9, with some items to discuss with your teens.

Amy's mom and Ben's dad are talking over pizza.

Amy's mom says (about Amy's pregnancy), "I want this not to be happening." Most people surrounding a pregnant single (including the pregnant woman herself) experience a grief cycle centered on the pregnancy. If you can realize where you are in the grief cycle, it will help you cope with the emotions you're feeling instead of being bewildered about why you're feeling the way you do. The grief cycle starts with shock and denial, where you say "I can't believe this is happening." Next are anger and bargaining. After that is depression. Finally you should start to move towards acceptance. You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Hearing the Shocking News" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" to learn more about the grief cycle surrounding pregnancy.

Ben's dad says, "But it is. And it's going to be happening whether she goes to extension class or she's homeschooled or goes back to her old school." Your pregnant daughter probably has a few choices to help her finish her current educational program. With her, research all the options and write out the pros and cons of each. But finishing her education is very important for the future of everyone involved, so she needs to pick an option and follow through.

Amy's mom says, "I can't even get her to leave the house anymore." Ben's dad responds, "She's got to get over that. She can't hide her face in shame. What happened, happened. .... You'll get through this and Amy will get through this. Don't let her hide from people, and don't you hide from people. ... Don't let Amy feel like she's any less of a person than she was before this happened. Because she's not, and neither are you." You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Trying to hide", "Where will we be in a year?" and "Our hope for the next five years" to help you put the current crisis into a longer-term perspective.

Amy is talking to her dad about her not wanting to return to school because kids at her school are mean. It is likely that your family will feel uncomfortable in your current social circles. You may find it helpful to read the chapter "Forgiving unkind acquaintances" for strategies to deal with mean people. Talk to your pregnant daughter about the kids at her school. Is she in physical danger there? What hurtful things are people saying to her or about her? Get your daughter counseling to help heal these emotional wounds, and take any steps necessary to safeguard her physical safety at school.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also has a discussion guide for episode 9 (pdf).

Help your pregnant daughter with: Job Skills

The other day we posted about the topic "How much should parents help their pregnant single daughter?"We've received this question is various forms. Another way this has been phrased is "How does a mom support her pregnant daughter?" Keywords we've seen on our statistics include phrases like "helping your pregnant daughter." That post focused on the minimum basics of safe housing, nutrition, and medical care. Today let's talk about some other help beyond the minimum basics.

Beyond the minimum basics of housing, nutrition, and medical care, parents of a pregnant teen or college student should consider how they might help with these goals:

1. Helping your daughter remain in school until graduation.
2. Preventing subsequent adolescent pregnancies.
3. Improving parenting skills.
4. Locating and using community resources.
5. Stabilizing family support systems.
6. Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient. (Today's topic)

Again, your motive of considering these kinds of help is not to reward your daughter's sexual activity and pregnancy outside of marriage, but to help get her on the road to independence and to help give your grandchild a better start in life. Today's topic is:

6. Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient.

Obviously, the exact skills your daughter needs in order to get a desirable job will vary depending on the type of work. But there are several general skills that will benefit her no matter what kind of job she is seeking.

First, finishing her basic education (a high school diploma or GED) is very beneficial. Read the chapter "Completing School" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" for more information. If your daughter does not know what kind of job would interest her, find career counseling for her. If she is in public school, do the guidance counselors have career interest surveys that can help her find an area of interest? Career guidance may also be available from paid professionals, counselors, and agencies.

The American Education Services lists these general employment skills:

Strong Work Ethic – Employers want workers who are reliable, dependable, and self-motivated. Have your daughter rate herself on these three traits. How reliable does she feel she is? Is she more reliable in some areas than in others? For example, is she reliable in picking up a friend on time, but less reliable in cleaning her room? On the job, does she show up on time? Does she get her job tasks done correctly and on time? How dependable does your daughter feel she is? If an unpleasant task really needs to be done, does your daughter do it or does she procrastinate? How self-motivated does your daughter feel she is? Does she require bribes to do her chores or get good grades? Does she have dreams, goals and plans for her future? On the job, does she pro-actively take care of problems, or does she only do what she is ordered to do?

Time Management Skills – Planning and following a schedule, listing the tasks you need to complete, and estimating how long it will take. Talk with your daughter about these skills. How would she rate herself on her ability to make and follow a schedule? Is she able to create to-do lists and successfully complete those activities? On the job, does she faithfully follow her work schedule? Is she able to coordinate her work schedule with other things like school and church?

Problem-Solving Skills – Be able to identify a problem, develop solutions, and implement the solutions. How does your daughter rate herself on her problem-solving skills? On the job, is she able to figure out how to solve problems that arise?

Communication Skills – Verbal communication includes speaking and listening. Written communication includes reading and writing. It is vital that your daughter develop ALL of these skills. How does your daughter rate herself on her verbal communication skills? How about her written communication skills? If one area is stronger than the other, brainstorm with her how she could improve her skills.

"People" Skills – The ability to work well with others, based on trust and mutual respect. How does your daughter rate her people skills? What could she do to improve these skills?

Computer Skills – Be able to use word processing and spreadsheet programs, e-mail, and the Internet. How does your daughter rate her computer skills? Many schools, libraries and other agencies offer free or low-cost classes to improve these important job skills.

To be economically self-sufficient, your daughter needs to figure out how much it costs to live and then figure out what kind of job would pay her enough to cover her expenses. The chapter titled "Should She Parent Alone?" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" guides you and your daughter through the exercises of making a budget, and also developing a contract that specifies her privileges and responsibilities if she will be living in your home although many of these responsibilities should be reflected in her budget.

Help your pregnant daughter with: Completing her education

The other day we posted about the topic "How much should parents help their pregnant single daughter?"We've received this question is various forms. Other ways this has been phrased is "How does a mom support her pregnant daughter?" "Should parents pay for college when daughter is pregnant?" Keywords we've seen on our statistics include phrases like "helping your pregnant daughter."

That post focused on the minimum basics of safe housing, nutrition, and medical care. We also talked about how education or job skills training would help your daughter and your grandchild long term. Today let's talk about some other help beyond the minimum basics.

Beyond the minimum basics of housing, nutrition, and medical care, parents of a pregnant teen should consider how they might help with these goals:

1. Helping your daughter remain in school until graduation. (Today's topic)
2. Preventing subsequent adolescent pregnancies.
3. Improving parenting skills.
4. Locating and using community resources.
5. Stabilizing family support systems.
6. Strengthening employability skills and efforts to become economically self-sufficient.

Again, your motive of considering these kinds of help is not to reward your daughter's behavior, but to help get her on the road to independence and to help give your grandchild a better start in life. Lets look at each in turn. Today's topic is:

1. Help your daughter remain in school until graduation. To improve your daughter's chance at getting a job that pays enough to support her and your grandchild, your daughter needs at least a high school diploma or GED. If she can get some college completed (even a two-year associate's degree) it would be even better. Instead of college, your daughter may be interested in a certified job training program that can give her employable skills. In our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy", read the chapter titled "Completing School" for ideas about how to pursue education goals. Your daughter will probably need to find child care in order to complete this education goal. Will you offer her free babysitting? Will you charge her for babysitting? Will she pay a daycare center? Is she eligible for day care assistance from the local/state government? Is there child care at her current school? Or at another school that she could transfer to? Read the "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy" chapter titled "Childcare responsibilities" that gives pointers on how to evaluate childcare options.

How Much Should Parents Help Pregnant Daughter?

We love feedback, and today's post topic is from our readers: "How much should parents help their pregnant single daughter?"

We've received this question is various forms. Other ways this has been phrased is "How does a mom support her pregnant daughter?" "Should parents pay for college when daughter is pregnant?" Keywords we've seen on our statistics include phrases like "helping your pregnant daughter."

The answers to questions like these are very dependent on your specific situation! But we do have some general suggestions.

First, get counseling for yourself and your daughter from your local pregnancy resource center. You can get a referral to your closest one by contacting OptionLine (800-395-HELP). OptionLine can help you with some basic counseling on the phone or over the internet (email, instant message), but their job is mostly to help you find a local pregnancy help center. Your local pregnancy help center can help educate you and your daughter on all the pros and cons of all your options, and help point you towards local aid programs for health care and other services. Pregnancy centers also usually offer emotional support to you and your family as you process your situation. You may also find our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Christian Pregnant Single" useful; it discusses many of the decisions you and your daughter are facing.

I know you may be feeling hurt, angry, surprised, shocked, and other negative feelings about your daughter's pregnancy outside marriage. This is a normal reaction to a crisis, and is part of the grief cycle that you have been thrust into. If you are a Christian, then you know that your daughter has sinned sexually (if she willingly participated) and you may be feeling like she needs punishment for this action. However, withdrawing help is not going to be helpful and can make the situation much worse. If you feel you need to explain to your daughter that your help is not a reward for her behavior or an acceptance of her behavior, that may be appropriate. Your daughter is carrying your innocent grandchild, who is completely dependent on your daughter for a healthy start to life. Your grandchild, via your daughter, needs at the very minimum safe housing, good nutrition, and regular medical care.

Beyond the minimums of safe housing, good nutrition, and medical care, what level of help is appropriate without enabling further choices that you don't approve of? This is again where counsel from a pregnancy help center is useful. As an outside third party, they can help you negotiate how you will help your daughter and what actions she must take in response.

Hopefully one of your goals is that your daughter be aimed at independence at some point in the future. Independence is going to be greatly improved by your daughter having a job that pays enough money for her to support your grandchild and herself. Your daughter's best bet at being able to have a job that pays enough is for her to have an education or job training. So, should you pay for all of her college expenses? This is a personal decision that you should all discuss with outside counselors. It may be that you need to make changes to the current situation (have your daughter transfer to an in-state college or community college, for example) so that expenses are reduced. You may even need to explore ways that your daughter could graduate sooner. While education is in the best interests of your daughter and your grandchild for the long term, you may need to be creative about how that education is achieved.

Another crucial area where you should help your pregnant daughter is in exploring her options. Help her research the realities of abortion, single parenting, marrying the baby's father, you raising her child, or choosing a family to raise her child in adoption. No option should be chosen casually, but instead with much research, thinking, talking, and praying. Your daughter most likely has opinions about these options. You probably do too. Spend a lot of time talking about these thoughts. Make pro/con lists. Read books. Talk to counselors and to people who have chosen each of these options. Talk to women who have aborted a child. Talk to single moms. Talk to moms who have chosen a family to raise their child in adoption. Talk to people that were adopted. Talk to moms who married the baby's father during/after pregnancy. Talk to parents who are raising their grandchild. None of the paths before your daughter is easy, they each have ups and downs.

College and your pregnant daughter

Feminists for Life has a survey asking questions about services colleges provide to assist their pregnant students. See the survey results HERE in pdf format, or read them below. These are questions you should try to get answers for from your daughter's college.

Is there maternity coverage in my (student) healthcare plan?
Without healthcare coverage, a pregnant student will likely fear the cost of carrying a pregnancy to term.
77% of respondents did not know if their student health plan offers maternity coverage.
16% said maternity coverage is not available.
7% indicated that maternity coverage is offered as part of the student health plan.

What about a pediatrician?
Additionally, respondents were asked if insurance riders are available to cover the children of students.
79% said they did not know.
14% said students cannot obtain riders to cover their children.
7% said the school offers riders for student parents to obtain healthcare coverage for their children.
An analysis of the data yielded no statistically significant differences in the responses from students at state, religious, or private colleges on the questions pertaining to healthcare options and availability.

Where would I live?
46% said there is no housing available on campus for parenting students.
31% said they did not know if such housing is available.
22% said housing is available on campus for parenting students.

When asked who could benefit from this housing:
89% said this housing is open to graduate students.
87% said it is available for undergraduates.
73% said foreign students on an education visa would be eligible for residential housing.

What about off-campus housing?
74% of respondents indicated there is housing available near campus for parenting students.
15% said they did not know.
An analysis of the responses showed that students at private schools were less likely than those at state and religious schools to indicate that their campus had housing for parenting students.

Who will take care of my baby when I am in class?
Childcare is one of the most vital resources a college campus can provide for pregnant and parenting students.
45% said their colleges do not offer on-campus childcare.
30% said their schools offer on-campus childcare.
2% said plans are under way.
22% said they did not know if childcare is available.

Can I access on-campus childcare—or are some people’s kids more equal than others?
When asked who has priority access to on-campus childcare, respondents said:
faculty (87%),
administration and staff (83%),
graduate students (79%),
undergraduates (77%), and
foreign students on an education visa (55%).
Most students surveyed (66%) did not know if their school provides referrals to off-campus childcare.

Does anyone know if there is infant care, or how much it costs?
Another barrier to access to childcare for pregnant and parenting students is the issue of infant care, which entails additional staffing and other requirements.
27% of the respondents who affirmed that on-campus childcare is available said infant care is also available.
68% did not know whether their on-campus childcare center would accept infants.
5% stated that the childcare center has an expressed policy against accepting infants.

Who will watch the baby if we go to watch a game?
When asked if the college connects parents to volunteer or paid babysitters,
55% of respondents said they did not know.
27% said the college does not facilitate connections between student parents and babysitters.
17% percent said their college issues some kind of list of babysitters or otherwise facilitates connections between student parents and babysitters.
An analysis of the data showed that students at state schools were more likely than students at private and religious colleges to indicate that their campus offers childcare. Further analysis revealed that students at private colleges were more likely than students at state colleges to indicate that their schools help connect students with babysitters.

What about him?
When asked about child support,
46% of respondents said students are not generally aware of paternity establishment and child support enforcement laws that give fathers rights as well as responsibilities.
45% said they did not know if students are educated about these issues.
54% percent said they did not know if women on their campus are aware of the information they need to establish paternity if the father resists his responsibilities.
41% said they believed women on their campus are aware of this information.

You try walking to campus when you are eight months pregnant!
Ninety-one percent of respondents said their campus does not offer designated parking for pregnant women or parents with infants.
Only 1% said they had seen such designated parking on campus.

If I need to go across campus with a baby, how can we get around?
When asked if their campus is accessible for parents using strollers as well as people using wheelchairs,
87% of students said their campus has elevators, ramps, etc.
7% said their campus is not physically accommodating to those transporting children.
An analysis of this section showed that students at state schools were more likely than students at private schools to deem their college “stroller-accessible.”

And where could I go to change a diaper?
Respondents were also asked if diaper-changing stations are available in restrooms on campus.
23% said they are.
62% said they had not seen diaper changing stations in restrooms.
1 respondent said their campus has plans to install stations.

How would you like to nurse in front of fraternity row?
When asked if there is a private place for women to nurse or pump breast milk,
77% of respondents said “no.”
Only 3% said they knew of such a location on their campus.
20% did not know if their school provides a private place for nursing mothers.

What about flex time and telecommuting options?
Alternative scheduling is the most prevalent resource known or perceived to be available to pregnant and parenting students.
78% of respondents reported that their school offers flexible class times (evening, weekend classes).
53% said their school offers telecommuting or distance learning opportunities.
An analysis of the data based on the type of school indicates that more state schools offer flexible class times, telecommuting and distance learning opportunities.

I’ll be better able to take care of my child if I have a degree.
The financial affairs portion of the survey proved the most difficult for respondents to answer. When asked if loans or scholarships are made available specifically to parenting students,
69% of respondents answered, “I don’t know.”
25% said there are no such financial supports available.
6% said they knew of special loans or scholarships for parenting students.

When asked if loans or scholarships are made available to pay for family housing on or off campus,
67% of respondents said they did not know.
23% said that no such loans or scholarships are available.
9% said there is such financial support.
An analysis of the responses regarding financial aid showed students at state schools were significantly more likely than students at religious schools to indicate there are scholarships or loans available for family housing.

Respondents were also asked if student loans or scholarships are available for childcare costs.
70% said they did not know.
26% said there is no financial support for students seeking childcare.
3% indicated there are loans and scholarships available to cover the cost of childcare.

May I take a “time out”?
Respondents were asked if the athletic department has a protective “red shirt” policy for students on athletic scholarships who become pregnant, allowing them to avoid activities as needed for the duration of the pregnancy and still retain their scholarships.
79% said they did not know if there is such a policy.
4% said the red-shirt designation is applied to pregnant students,
16% said student athletes are not protected from loss of scholarship if they become pregnant.

So where’s our resident “know-it-all”?
When asked if there is a person or central office on campus responsible for helping pregnant and parenting students:
50% said they did not know.
33% said there is no central place for pregnant or parenting students to seek assistance.
16% said there is a person or office in charge of assisting these students.

When asked how they could find information about resources and support for pregnant and parenting students, respondents indicated there are few sources for such information.
40% said they could not find these resources on their campus website.
48% said they did not know if these resources are on the website.
62% said there had been no mention of pregnancy and parenting support in their first-year orientation.
45% said resources for pregnant and parenting students are not in the handbook.
45% did not know.

Educational materials and brochures are the most likely sources of information about resources and support.
17% of respondents said those sources were readily available on their campus.
42% did not know if their college provides educational handouts or brochures to pregnant and
parenting students.
38% said their university does not use educational materials and brochures.

The next most likely source of information about resources is ads and signs on campus.
15% of respondents said they had seen ads or signage on campus that provided information and support for pregnant and parenting students.
56% said they did not believe these materials are used on their campus.

Respondents were asked if resident assistants or residential advisers (RAs) were aware of the scope of pregnancy resources available on and off campus.
30% perceived the RAs to be unaware.
57% said they did not know if their RAs receive any information or training in this area.
In evaluating the differences in responses between students at state, religious, and private colleges, students at state schools were more likely than students at private or religious colleges to indicate that their school provided information for pregnancy support services on the
college’s website.

Feminists for Life encourages all colleges and universities to evaluate the resources available
for pregnant and parenting students on their campuses—as well as how they educate students about these resources—and begin to implement changes to better meet their students’ needs.

How does your college, university or alma mater rate? Take the Pregnancy Resource Survey for yourself!

Feminists for Life is committed to helping schools realize these goals and will continue to advocate for support for pregnant and parenting students across the nation. If you are a college administrator or student activist willing to help pregnant and parenting students on your campus, please contact Feminists for Life’s College Outreach Program Coordinator at coordinator@ffloncampus.org to tell us about the resources and support on your campus, to host a speaker, or to host a Pregnancy Resource Forum.

A Wakeup Call?

These are quotes from two girls who recently graduated from an alternative school, as seen on the Bradenton, Florida, news website:

At one point, Breoana said she was ready to blow off school, to drop out. Then she got pregnant. "Once I found out that a child was on the way, I had to get my act together," she said. "The world does not revolve around me anymore; it revolves around my son."
Eyela shared a similar story. When she got pregnant, she was on her way to dropping out of school. But she wanted a better life for herself and her daughter.
"I had to raise a child, find day care and go to school," she said. "But I did it."

In previous posts, we've talked about how many pregnant girls drop out of school because they are pregnant. These two girls share that they were already on the way to dropping out of school before they became pregnant. Have you seen this trend in your pregnant daughter, too? Was she skipping school, partying a lot, getting bad grades, or talking about dropping out?

Could your daughter's pregnancy be a wake-up call for her that will help her be determined to get her life together? Talk to your daughter about the stories of these two girls. Has your daughter in the past thought that the world revolved around her? What kind of life does she want for herself and her child in the future?

Help your daughter research the benefits of finishing her high school education, both short-term benefits and long-term benefits. It may be tough to finish school, but she can do it if you all work together and also get any help that is available to you.

We talk about finishing school and many other topics in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy", a book that Christian parents of a pregnant single under the age of 25 will find beneficial as they look at all the decisions their daughter is facing.

Share in the comments section your concerns about your pregnant daughter and her schooling. What dreams about education has your daughter shared with you? You can post anonymously if you prefer.

Finishing High School

In late April of this year, an article titled "Special Schools for Pregnant Girls?" discussed an alternative school in Boise, Idaho, the Marian Pritchett School. The article discusses, among other things, the apparent trade-off between stronger academics at regular schools, and the possibly weaker academics but bonus special programs of alternative schools, such as classes about business, parenting skills, and family law, and the special accommodations that alternative schools offer pregnant and parenting girls. These special schools often help pregnant girls get a GED (or possibly a diploma) instead of dropping out of school due to pregnancy.

If remaining in her current school, does your daughter have concerns about her safety there? Does she worry, like Alicia Mattocks in the above article, "that bullies might purposely slam her into a locker and that a teacher's rules wouldn't allow frequent bathroom runs"? Talk to her school's administrators and find out what concessions are available for pregnant girls, or those who are parenting. Are there excused absences available so that she can attend her many prenatal care appointments? Will the school allow her to breastfeed her baby at school after birth? or must she pump the milk and store it for later? If she must pump, is there a refrigerator available for milk storage? Brainstorm with your daughter the pros and cons to each of the education options she has available to her. Make a concrete plan of how she will finish her high school education at a minimum.

"Young Parents Program"

This article tells the story of Jenna de la Cruz who became pregnant at 15 and hid her pregnancy from her parents for a time even though friends at her junior high school knew about the pregnancy. Jenna eventually enrolled in a program for pregnant teens which helped her focus on her high school studies.

Now 17, she graduated a year early and has two scholarships waiting, one to enroll at Salt Lake Community College and another for her planned transfer to the University of Utah, where she hopes to study to become a teacher. She has no regrets about keeping her child.

That special school has a high school graduation rate of 74%, which is an outstanding accomplishment. As we mention in the chapter "Completing School" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy", about one-third of female high school dropouts in America cite pregnancy as the reason they stopped going to school. You can also read more about "The Silent Epidemic: Perspectives of High School Dropouts", a report by Civic Enterprises.

Liliana Juarez, a 17-year-old from Kearns, said that before becoming pregnant, she often skipped school to party. Her 18-month-old daughter, Xitlaly, plus the Young Parents Program, has put her life back on track. "She [Xitlaly] needs a better life than me being a dropout with a $6-an-hour job," Juarez said.

Support your daughter in figuring out how she will at least finish high school! This will vastly improve her life and the life of your grandchild.

Alternative Schools

As I mentioned yesterday, some particular types of employees are required to report underage sex as defined by their state. Here is one example case from today's news. Stephanie, 17, is five months pregnant with her third child. When the special school she attends, Riverview Academy, discovered that she was pregnant, the child's father (a 19 year old) "was charged with misdemeanor sexual intercourse with a child and could face up to nine months in jail, if convicted."

If your pregnant daughter is at-risk for not finishing her high school education because of pregnancy or other issues, see if there is a special school that can help her by focusing on job-related skills and/or providing extra tutoring.

Here are just a few alternative schools...do you know of one in your area? Leave us a comment with its name or url!

• Colorado's Finest A.H.S., Englewood (Colorado)
• Project CDA, Coeur d'Alene (Idaho)
• Dugan A.H.S., Chicago (Illinois)
• District 7 A.H.S., Edwardsville (Illinois)
• Aurora A.H.S., Bloomington (Indiana)
• Central A.H.S., Dubuque (Iowa)
• Washburn Rural A.H.S., Topeka (Kansas)
• Bryant A.H.S., Alexandria (Virginia)
• Mountain View A.H.S., Centreville (Virginia)
• Pimmitt Hills A.H.S., Falls Church (Virginia)
• The Nova Project, Seattle (Washington)
• Middleton A.S.H, Middleton (Wisconsin)

To find a school in your area, either call your public school district or go to your favoriate search engine and search for 'alternative high school' and the name of your state.

Staying in School in Martinsville

The Martinsville Bulletin (Martinsville, Virginia) had a recent article titled "Teen Pregnancy Targeted" saying that the town of Martinsville has a teen pregnancy rate more than double the state average:

Kizner said that in Martinsville for every 1,000 females aged 15-17, 66 are pregnant (based on live-birth statistics). The state average is 27 out of 1,000. Henry County’s teenage pregnancy rate is 40 out of 1,000. He was quoting statistics for 2006 (the most recent available) from the Annie E. Casey Foundation. Sixty-six percent of babies born in Martinsville have unwed mothers, compared with 34 percent for the state and 52 percent for Henry County, he said.

Note that these statistics are for a very narrow range of teens (15-17) instead of ages 13-19, and that they do not distinguish married teens from unmarried teens. It can be hard sometimes to determine if apples are being compared to apples in short quotes like these, but let's assume that the speakers performed their due diligence to provide accurate comparisions.

What I found really interesting is that School Superintendent Scott Kizner is focused on helping these young mothers finish their secondary education so that they are prepared to enter the workforce and help themselves and the depressed Martinsville community! He doesn't berate teens or say that more money needs to be spent on prevention-only. He recognizes that some teens will get pregnant and that helping them finish secondary education helps everyone - the mother, her child(ren), and the community. To this end, he is trying to get help to create flexible education opportunities so that young mothers do not drop out of school simply because they become pregnant.

Does your community have opportunities for your daughter to finish her secondary education? Fairfax County, Viriginia, has an alternative high school and other programs available... what does your county offer?

Finally, Kizner knows that some people will believe “this will encourage teenagers to have babies if we help them too much." What's your opinion on this? Does the presence of social services encourage teens to get pregnant? If help is not present, would that simply raise the abortion rate instead of preventing pregnancy? Is help with education "too much" help for teens? What services would you provide if you were in charge, and what services would you deny? Leave us a comment with your thoughts!