Most teen pregnancies caused by adult men

In the news article linked to in the title of the post, there is a quote that says "Half of the time, a teen pregnancy does not even involve two teens close in age. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy estimates 52 percent of the fathers are three years or more older than the moms; and about two-thirds of the fathers are age 20 and over."

The statistic which says that "about two-thirds [66%] of the fathers are age 20 and over" includes 19-year old girls who are pregnant by 20 year old (and older) men. It also includes very young teens who are pregnant by men who are not teens themselves.

The other statistic above says that 52% of the time, a teen girl is pregnant by a male at least 3 years older than herself.

The article continues with an example, "In Illinois, the largest group of fathers involved in fathering a child with a teenage mother were between the ages of 20 and 24 -- that age group accounted for 48 percent of teen births during 2006, the latest year available. Only 10 percent of the fathers were under age 18."

Is an age difference of three years or more a big deal? For teens it definitely is:
"The older the partner, the greater the risk for abuse. One in five American teen girls has had sex with a sexual partner who is three or more years older, according to a report released in April by Child Trends, an independent research center that focuses on children and families. Even if the relationship is consensual, there is a significant power difference that puts the man in a controlling role. The risk of unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease increases significantly with older partners because they are less likely to use condoms, the report said."

If your teen daughter is pregnant by a male three or more years older than her, you may decide to talk to a lawyer about the statuatory rape laws for your state. Are your other children dating people that are too old or too young for them (a three year age difference or more)? If so, consider intervening in that relationship. And talk to all your teens about dating and sex. We posted previously about how you can talk to your kids to help them avoid teen pregnancy.

Stress and Support

A study of 2,921 mothers revealed that single mothers were twice as likely as married mothers to experience a bout of depression in the prior year.

Single mothers also reported higher levels of stress, fewer contacts with family and friends, less involvement with church or social groups and less overall social support.

Source: Cairney, John and Michael Boyle et al. “Stress, Social Support and Depression in Single and Married Mothers.” Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology 38 (August 2003): 442-449.

Talk to your pregnant daughter about this statistic. Does she plan to be a single parent, or to marry the baby's father? What are her thoughts about how she can better handle the stress of being a parent after her baby is born? How will she maintain contact with friends and family? How will she get to church at least once a week? What social groups will she attend regularly? For example, does your church have a single parent's support group? Or a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group? Does your pregnant daughter have a history of depression? If so, she should be prepared to take quick action if she gets depressed after the baby is born.

If your family does not have the resources to help your pregnant daughter with these needs for emotional and social support and she does not plan to marry the baby's father, consider whether an adoption plan would provide benefits for both the child and your daughter.

Help your daughter get emotional support right now, during her pregnancy, by attending classes at your local pregnancy help center. Your daughter can learn about parenting and adoption, decision-making skills, relationship skills, and maybe even financial skills and job skills if those topics are available.

Single Moms Often Poor

Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor.

In 2002, 7.8% of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 38.4% of children in female-householder families.

Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics: March 2002, P200-547, Table C8. Washington D.C.: GPO, 2003.

Talk with your daughter about the issues revealed in the statistics above.

• What are her dreams about a present and involved father for her child?
  
• What qualities of a good father can the baby's father provide currently?
  
• If the baby's father is not a good candidate for an ongoing relationship, what male(s) can step in to provide a healthy father figure?

Our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Pregnant Christian Single" has several chapters about the father of your daughter's baby: "Where Does The Baby's Father Belong In All This?", "Forgiving The Baby's Father", "Forgiving The Young Man's Parents", and "The Importance Of A Father."

As you and your daughter talk about an involved father for her child, try to determine who will play this role. It may be the child's father. If he is a safe person and has the potential to provide for his family and to learn parenting skills, your daughter should seek counseling about whether to marry him. I strongly recommend that any couple get good pre-marriage counseling that teaches them about managing expectations, communication skills, and gives the basics of financial skills such as budgeting and balancing a checkbook. In addition, the couple will need to be attending parenting skills classes so that they both participate in caring for the needs of their child. You may find it helpful to read the chapters "Should They Marry?" and "Should She Parent Alone?"

If the child's father will not be involved for whatever reason, who in your current family could play this crucial role of father figure?

If no father-figure is available or acceptable, spend some time considering an adoption plan where the child would have the advantages of a father as the child grows.

If your daughter is determined to be a single mother, what job skills does your she currently have? How can you help your pregnant daughter improve her job skills? What kind of career could she train for quickly? What financial help for living expenses or career training expenses are available in your family? Where can she get quality childcare while she is at work? You may also want to read the "Childcare Responsibilities" chapter in our book .

Time: The Truth About Teen Girls

Time magazine recently had an article titled "The Truth About Teen Girls".

One of the paragraphs in this article says,

We idealize youth and sexiness but recoil if our young want to be sexy. What has complicated things recently is that girls are literally getting older younger. Their bodies are hitting physical maturity sooner, often before they are ready to deal with the issues of sexuality that go along with it. According to Jane Brown, a journalism professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, "Twelve-to-14-year-old girls who start puberty earlier are more interested in sexual content in the media." Brown's studies found that adolescents whose media diet was rich in sexual content were more than twice as likely as others to have had sex by the time they were 16.

What is the sexual content of the media your teen (both boys and girls) consumes? The Time magazine article mentions shows like The O.C., with "multiple sexual partners, the cocaine use, and then at the end, they drink, they drive, they set fires, but all is well! There are never any consequences." Consider watching these shows with your teen and talk about the content. How do your family values relate to the content? How do your religious values relate to the content?

Some studies seem to show that "teens are less susceptible to media firestorms that galvanize the grownups, like those set off by a famous pregnant person or a seminaked tween star. But when most outlets say the same thing, the effect can be overwhelming. "We call this the drip-drip vs. the drench effect," says Brown." So, if any one particular episode isn't "so bad", there can still be a cumulative effect.

The article says that girls aren't necessarily trying to look sexy, just older, more grown up. "The real problems arise when the media unanimously suggest that hotness is the only identity worth trying on. And when they venerate physical desirability in young women without explaining how to use it responsibly. And when they define desirability in such a narrow fashion that many girls feel they have to amp up their sexual signals to measure up. One of the clear findings last year of the APA task force was that an early emphasis on sexuality stunts girls' development in other areas." Talk to your teens about identity. What are the components of their identity? Do some components have more value to them than other components do? In your family and your religious expression, what is the responsible use of physical desirability? What are the irresponsible uses of physical desirability?

The article continues:
Should girls fear that they don't have the requisite hotness, there's a surefire way to overcome that: find a boy to sleep with. "They're subconsciously looking for love," says Amanda Ireland, another Gloucester teen. "They think, If I have a baby, I'll be someone. It gives them an identity." What do your teens think about these statements? Are they looking for love? Do they feel that sex can buy them the love they want? What social credit would they receive from their peers if they were to become sexually active, or if they were to have a baby?

Not just an issue for teens

Unplanned pregnancy outside of marriage is not just a teen issue.

In fact, "more than half (54%) of unmarried women who have an unplanned pregnancy are in their 20s" not their teens. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has a brief overview called "Briefly: Unplanned Pregnancy Among 20-Somethings: The Full Story".

This brief says that:

• "In 2001, more than 2 million unmarried women had an unplanned pregnancy. This includes: 635,000 unmarried teens; 764,000 unmarried women in their early 20s (age 20-24); 367,000 unmarried women age 25-29; and 311,000 unmarried women over age 29 who had an unplanned pregnancy."
• "Over two-thirds of unmarried women having an unplanned pregnancy are not cohabiting. Only one-third of unmarried women who had an unplanned pregnancy were living with their partner when they got pregnant."
• "Among women having an unplanned pregnancy, cohabiting women and single, non-cohabiting women are more than twice as likely to have an abortion when compared to married women with an unplanned pregnancy."
• "Close to half of all unplanned pregnancies among women who were cohabiting ended in abortion compared to less than one in five unplanned pregnancies among married women."
• "About one-third of cohabiting women who reported having an unplanned pregnancy resulting in a birth ended that relationship within two years after the child's birth. Among married women, only 7% ended the relationship within two years after the unplanned child's birth."
• "Approximately two-thirds of unmarried women ages 20-29 who experienced an unplanned pregnancy were above the federal poverty level, and more than one-third had an income at or above 200% of the federal poverty level."
• "Most unmarried women who experienced an unplanned pregnancy have either graduated from high school or its equivalent, and four in ten have attended some college or more."
• "Close to half of all unmarried women who experienced an unplanned pregnancy are white, one in five are Hispanic, and about one-third are black."

Not guaranteed to fail

In a recent opinion piece called "Odds are against teen marriage", the author, Carrie Stetler says that "marriage among couples in their 20s and 30s is far less likely to end in divorce." This makes it sound like teen marriages are practically guaranteed to fail, which just isn't true. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics released a report in December 2005 which was called "Fertility, Family Planning, and Reproductive Health of U.S. Women: Data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth."

This statistical report from the government says that for people who marry under the age of 18, that 93% of those marriages are still intact one year later, that 76% are still going 3 years later, that 65% are still working 5 years later, and that 52% are still married after 10 years!

For teens aged 18-19 who get married, 90% are still married a year later, 80% are still married 3 years later, 72% are still married 5 years later, and 61% are still married after 10 years!

So teen marriages are by no means guaranteed to fail.

Even if a teen marriage ends in divorce, "marrying before the birth of a child may lead to greater paternal support, even if the marriage doesn't last. If couples marry, the male partner is likely to be a resident parent and have greater access to the child. Even if the couple eventually divorces, this early contact may lead to greater levels of financial support from the father." (Naomi Seiler, "Is Teen Marriage A Solution?" April 2002. Center for Law and Social Policy.)

ANY marriage, at ANY age needs the same thing: the physical, emotional, and spiritual support of their families. ANY person who marries at ANY age needs to be a responsible, safe partner.

If your teen daughter is pregnant, you may find it helpful to read the chapters titled "Should they marry?" and "Teen marriage success" in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy." There are also other posts about marriage on this blog, just click the label "Marriage" below or in the right-hand column.

"Is Marriage In Our Future?"

The topic of marriage has been on the minds of some of our readers recently, with queries such as "should pregnant christian people get married?", and "when daughter does not have blessing of marriage", among others. There is no single answer that fits all situations. Choosing to marry the baby's father is a decision that should be made with careful consideration, prayer, and outside counseling.

Family & Consumer Sciences at Michigan State University Extension created a free program called "Caring for My Family." One of the lessons in this program is called "Is Marriage In Our Future?". Consider printing out this lesson and discussing it with your pregnant daughter and her baby's father. Help your daughter and the baby's father to get outside counseling about their relationship and its future. Some of the main points from this lesson are as follows.

The lesson first lists a few facts about marriage:
"In 2000, 58% of all men and 54% of all women over the age of 15 were married. For people age 35 through 44, 69% of men and 71% of women were married. In 2000, 8.3% of all men and 10.2% of all women over age 15 were divorced."

"Many people have studied the effects of marriage on people and society. These experts found that people who are married:
• Are healthier, in general
• Live longer
• Tend to have more money and more financial security

They also found that children who live with their married parents:
• Get more education
• Have better marriages when they grow up
• Feel better about themselves and their lives

But healthy marriages are important. People with marital problems tend to be:
• More depressed
• Get sick more often
• Have children who get sick more often
• Have children who are not well adjusted

And if people divorce, their health suffers. For example:
• Divorced adults have a greater chance of dying earlier
• Children whose parents divorce live an average of four years less"

The lesson makes a good point that not everyone is a good candidate for marriage. You should not automatically get married just because you are pregnant. If your partner is abusive, you should get help to get away from them, not marry them. The lesson suggests these "yellow flags" as areas to get counseling about when considering a potential marriage partner:

Yellow Flags About Marriage:

• If your partner is often very depressed, unsure of himself or herself, and very anxious.
  
  
• If either of you ask over and over again, “Are you sure you love me? Do you really care about me?”
  
  
• If you spend most of your time together arguing and disagreeing.
  
  
• If your partner overreacts to simple problems or situations.
  
  
• If you keep thinking, “Things will be better when we get married.”
  
  
• If your partners wants to make all the important decisions and you resent it.
  
  
• If you are feeling pressure to get married but don’t want to.
  
  
• If you spend a day alone with your partner (not watching television), and you find you can’t stand it.
  
  
• If your partner does things you cannot stand but you are afraid to tell him or her because he or she will get mad.
  

The lesson also suggests a few "red flags" and encourages you not to marry a person with these challenges until they have been resolved:

"Red Flags"

• If your partner is an addict and not in recovery.
  
  
• If your partner physically or verbally abuses you or your children.
  
  
• If your partner is very controlling and you are fearful of him.
  
  
• If your partner demands that you drop all your friends and not see your family.
  
  
• If your partner gets angry easily and can’t control his or her temper.
  
  
• If your partner takes money that is needed to buy food and other necessities.
  

With your daughter, each of you write out a list of the positive traits a good marriage partner should have, and a list of the negative traits they should not have. Compare your lists. Then discuss how your daughter matches these lists and how the baby's father matches these lists. No one is perfect and each person will have a mix of positive and negative marriage traits. Try to be realistic and thorough.

The lesson suggests some questions to ask yourself:
• Do you believe that your future husband or wife will change if you get married? The facts show that most of us do not change very much or very quickly.
• Do you believe that you will be different when you get married? Do you hope that getting married will give you a fresh start and you can leave your problems behind? Most of us bring “baggage” with us into our marriages. If we had unhappy childhoods or don’t get along well with our parents, we will carry these problems into our marriage.
• Do you struggle with depression, anxiety, anger, being overly sensitive to criticism, or having frequent mood swings? Get help with these problems before getting married. Work on building your relationship with your own parents.
• Are you closing your eyes to your own or your partner’s faults? Most of us tend to not see our partner’s faults before we get married. Then after we are married we notice every fault.

Finally, the lesson suggests a three things that help make a marriage more successful:
"1) A marriage lasts when couples are able to solve the disagreements and conflict that are a part of every relationship.
2) A marriage must have at least five positive moments for every negative moment between the couple. In other words acts of kindness need to outweigh criticism and other negative behavior by a ratio of five to one.
3) But it is not a matter of just being nice. Instead, it is learning to calm oneself, to listen and respond nondefensively, and to stick together even when the going gets rough.
So, a healthy marriage involves more than marrying the “right person.” It also involves learning to manage conflict, to talk to each other and to stay committed during the tough times. It means becoming friends."

You may find it helpful to read the following chapters in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy": "Should they marry?", "Teen marriage success", "Should she parent alone?", "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?", "The importance of a father", and "Single moms and church".

Educate yourself and daughter about Shaken Baby Syndrome

A recent article on CNN.com was titled "New Year's baby's death shatters family, relationships" and shares the story of baby Camryn Jakeb Wilson who died just a few months later from Shaken Baby Syndrome.

It is very important that everyone in your family take the time to learn about Shaken Baby Syndrome. Make sure that the baby's father or father figure learns about this topic too.

"The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome estimates as many as 1,400 babies annually are injured or killed by shaking. According to the center, 70 percent to 79 percent of people convicted of killing or hurting babies are men. The average age of perpetrators is 24, and 82 percent are either the parent of the victim or the live-in boyfriend of the mother."

According to the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome, "Violently shaking an infant for just a few seconds can cause:
• Brain injury leading to paralysis, mild to severe cognitive impairment, cerebral palsy
• Blindness
• Broken bones
• Death
Normal activities such as bouncing a baby on one's knee, tossing it in the air or jogging with a baby on one's back do not cause shaken baby syndrome."



The #1 reason that people shake and damage babies is that they have been unable to figure out why the baby is crying.

How to cope with a baby who is crying and cannot be comforted:



Talk with your pregnant daughter about this information. Help her write a list of things she can do when she gets frustrated with her baby. Talk with her about screening the people who will care for her baby: are they trustworthy? have they been educated about shaken baby syndrome? are they prone to frustration, anger, or physical abuse? How can the safety of her baby be improved?

Recent adoption statistics

The CDC National Center for Health Statistics recently released statistics about adoption, Adoption Experiences of Women and Men and Demand for Children to Adopt by Women 18-44 Years of Age in the United States (PDF), 2002. Series 23, Number 27.

One-third of all women 18–44 years of age had ever considered adopting a child. Of these, about one of seven had taken steps to adopt.

Women who had ever taken steps to adopt were more likely to be 30–44 years of age, to be currently married, to have used infertility services, and to be surgically sterile or with impaired fertility.

Overall, 1.6% of all women and 2.0% of ever-married women 18–44 years of age were currently seeking to adopt a child. Of these, approximately two-thirds were currently taking steps to adopt.

Higher percentages of Hispanic women and non-Hispanic black women were currently seeking to adopt a child compared with non-Hispanic white women.

Nearly 1 million women were seeking to adopt children in 2002, whereas the domestic supply of infants relinquished at birth or within the first month of life and available to be adopted had become virtually nonexistent.

Talk with your pregnant daughter about adoption in general. Is she interested in her child being adopted by someone in the family, or by a non-related family she chooses? If she is interested in learning more about this possibility, get education from a pregnancy help center or an adoption professional.

Younger age at first intercourse may signal past abuse

Why do teens get pregnant? Some of them are the victims of sexual abuse. Some teens are pregnant directly by their abuser, and some are pregnant because of self-defeating behaviors that are a result of coping with abuse.

Sexually abused girls may initiate intercourse earlier than their peers and engage in a wide variety of high-risk behaviors, including substance abuse. The average age of first intercourse for abused girls is 13.8, in contrast to the national average of 16.2. If your daughter is pregnant or has been sexually active at an age lower than the national average, ask her if she has experienced sexual abuse.

How does child abuse affect teenage pregnancy and promiscuity? These statistics are from the Darkness to Light organization:

• Children who have been victims of sexual abuse exhibit long-term and more frequent behavioral problems, particularly inappropriate sexual behaviors.
  
• Women who report childhood rape are 3 times more likely to become pregnant before age 18.
  
• An estimated 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape, or attempted rape. The average age of their offenders is 27 years.
  
• Victims of child sexual abuse are more likely to be sexually promiscuous.
  
• More than 75% of teenage prostitutes have been sexually abused.
  

Talk to all your daughters about these statistics, and ask them to tell you about any abuse they have recieved. If your daughter has been abused, get her medical assistance, counseling, and talk to authorities about reporting the abuse.

The Effects of Teen Pregnancy

The Campaign for Our Children has a fact sheet called "The Effects of Teen Pregnancy" which lists the following statistics. Talk to your kids about these.

The Effects of Teen Pregnancy

50% of adolescents who have a baby become pregnant again within two years of the baby’s birth. We posted about this topic just the other day: "A Second (or Third) Teen Pregnancy". Talk to your kids about choosing sexual integrity.

Only 41% of teenage mothers complete high school, making it less likely for teen mothers to have the skills necessary to qualify for a well-paying job. Help your pregnant daughter finish school and get job skills. Help your daughter identify some goals for education and job training. With your pregnant daughter, research adoption to see if this option would benefit your daughter and her child.

Almost 50% of all teen mothers and more than 75% of unmarried teen mothers begin receiving welfare within five years of the birth of their first child. Help your daughter find other community resources that can help too. With your pregnant daughter, research adoption to see if this option would benefit your daughter and her child.

Nearly 80% of fathers of children born to teen mothers do not marry the mothers. How is the relationship between your pregnant daughter and the baby's father? Does your daughter hope to marry him, or has he disappeared? What challenges will your daughter face if she chooses to be a single mother? How could your whole family help her with these challenges? Is adoption an option that would be beneficial to your daughter and her child?

Teen fathers pay less than $800 in child support. With your pregnant daughter, figure our how much money she will need each month to support herself and her child. How much support will your family be able to help her with?

Children born to teen mothers are more likely to have low birth weight and related problems such as infant death, blindness, and mental retardation. Make sure your pregnant teen gets medical care right away. Your pregnant teen also needs proper nutrition for herself and her child.

Children of teen parents often receive inadequate parenting, are subject to abuse and neglect, and often have insufficient health care. Help your pregnant daughter start learning about parenting skills. Also research with your daughter to see if adoption would be an appropriate solution to this area of challenge for her.

Children of teen parents are 50% more likely to repeat a grade, perform poorly on standardized tests, and ultimately less likely to complete high school. If your daughter plans to parent her child, how can your family and other community resources help her child overcome this education challenge? Also research with your daughter to see if adoption would be an appropriate solution to this area of challenge for her.

Sources:
1. National Vital Statistics, Vol. 50, No. 50, 2002
2. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy (2002). Not Just Another Single Issue, Washington, DC.
3. Maynard, R.A. (1996). Kids having kids: A Robin Hood Foundation special report on the costs of adolescent childbearing. New York, Robin Hood Foundation.

Non-voluntary Sexual Intercourse

According to the Fertility, Family Planning, and Reproductive Health of U.S. Women: Data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. (PHS) 2006-1977. 174 pp.

In 2002, 8% of sexually experienced women 18–44 years of age reported that their first sexual intercourse was not voluntary.

+ Younger age at first sexual intercourse was associated with higher reporting of nonvoluntary first intercourse. 20% of women who first had intercourse before 15 years of age reported their first intercourse as not voluntary compared with 4% of women who first had intercourse at 20 years or over. This relationship between earlier first intercourse and higher reporting of nonvoluntary first intercourse is seen across Hispanic origin and race groups.

Nearly 23% of women aged 18–44 in 2002 had been forced to have intercourse at some time in their lives, about the same as seen in 1995.
+ About 5% of women were first forced to have intercourse at ages younger than 15 years; another 6% were first forced at ages 15–17 years and 4% at ages 18–19 years.
+ Women who were not living with both parents at age 14 were more likely to have experienced forced sexual intercourse at some time (31%) than women who lived with both parents (20%).

Talk to your daughter about these statistics. How old was she when she first had intercourse? Did she participate willingly? If not, make sure she gets counseling to heal this emotional wound, and medical care to check for STDs and any physical damage. If your pregnant daughter currently plans to be a single mother, brainstorm with her about ways that she can increase the protection of her child.


+ Of the women who reported that their FIRST sexual intercourse was not voluntary, 19% reported that they had been ‘‘pressured into it by his words or actions, but without threats of harm,’’ and this was the most common type of force.
+ The other types of force asked about, for example: 9% had been given alcohol or drugs, 8% reported ‘‘yes’’ to the item ‘‘Did what he said because he was bigger or grownup, and you were young,’’ 5% had been ‘‘physically held down,’’ and 3% had been ‘‘physically hurt or injured.’’

Talk with all your children about how they could try to get out of situations where they are being pressured to have sex by their partner's words or actions. What should they say? What should they do? Who should they later talk to about what happened?

Depression After Childbirth

We've written about postpartum depression previously, but it's a topic worth covering repeatedly.

A recent survey found that many Oklahoma women suffer from depression after childbirth. These results are likely very similar to what would be found in other areas too. Here is the text of a press release from the Oklahoma Department of Health, with commentary added:

One in four (25%) new mothers in Oklahoma report symptoms of maternal depression after giving birth, according to a recent study conducted by the Oklahoma State Department of Health (OSDH).

Using the Pregnancy Risk Assessment Monitoring System (PRAMS), an ongoing statewide survey of maternal behaviors and experiences, OSDH officials found that 40% of Oklahoma mothers did not discuss postpartum depression, or PPD, with their health care provider.

Of special concern were adolescent mothers, who were 2.5 times more likely to indicate symptoms of PPD as mothers age 35 and older.

“These findings are of major concern to health care professionals and should place families on alert to watch out for signs and symptoms of depression in new mothers,” said Secretary of Health and Commissioner of Health Dr. Michael Crutcher.

The symptoms of postpartum depression include:

• loss of interest in pleasure in life;
• change in appetite;
• less energy and motivation to do things;
• having a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping more than usual;
• increased crying and tearfulness;
• feeling worthless, hopeless or overly guilty;
• feeling restless, irritable or anxious;
• and having unexplained weight loss or gain.
• Additional symptoms include feeling like life isn’t worth living,
• having thoughts of hurting yourself or worrying about hurting the baby,
• or someone else hurting the baby.

Among the stressors found to increase the risk of depression symptoms are:

• arguing with a partner more than usual during pregnancy,
• having bills one cannot pay, and
• having an unintended pregnancy.
  

Additional highlights from the Oklahoma PRAMS survey on PPD include the following:

• Women ages 20 to 24 were twice as likely to indicate symptoms of depression when compared to women 35 or older.
• Women with infants placed in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) were at a higher risk for depression.
• Mothers are at special risk for postpartum depression when caring for infants born prematurely or infants with special health care needs.
• Women who did not receive a postpartum checkup were also at a higher risk for symptoms of postpartum depression when compared to women who did receive their postpartum checkup.
  

To address PPD, public health officials recommend the following:

Ask your daughter's doctor to screen your pregnant daughter for maternal depression before birth at a late-term prenatal visit.

Ask your daughter's doctor to screen your daughter for maternal depression at each doctor visit during the first year after the birth of her child.

Make sure your daughter understands the importance of returning for her postpartum checkup around six weeks after delivery.

If your daughter has an infant in the NICU, search for support groups near your home and in the hospital, and research more information on PPD.

Ask your Medicaid provider if there are any maternal and infant health licensed clinical social work services available to your daughter.

Ask your doctor, nurse, and hospital staff for education about PPD awareness, referrals for treatment and follow-up care.

Encourage new mothers with signs and symptoms of depression to call the PSI national hotline 1-800-944-4PPD. Information is also available at http://www.postpartum.net.

Ask your daughter's school counselors what support they can provide for pregnant and postpartum adolescents to cope with the stress of motherhood, schoolwork and feelings of isolation.

Challenges of poverty

In a report called "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" there are some recent statistics that highlight the challenges your single parent daughter may need help with. In a previous post, we noted the statistics that more and more women are choosing to be single parents. As you see below, many single parents live in poverty. So if your daughter is a single mother, know that you are not alone in the challenges you face!

Economic Circumstances
In 2006, children living in families with a female head with no husband present (female-householder families) continued to experience a higher poverty rate (42 percent) than children living in married-couple families (8 percent). If your single parent daughter and her child live below the poverty line, your grandchild is exposed to the possibility of several other challenges: education, health care, and housing. Will every single parent face these challenges? No. Will every family living below the poverty line face these challenges? No. But if your daughter is a single parent, these are possible additional challenges.

Children's Education Challenges
Children in families with incomes of 200 percent or more of the poverty threshold were more likely to be read to daily by a family member (65 percent) than were children in families with incomes 100–199 percent of the poverty threshold (60 percent) or those in families with incomes below the poverty threshold (50 percent) in 2005.

Dental Health Challenges
Good oral health requires professional dental care as well as routine personal care. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends regular dental visits beginning at 1 year of age. Among children living in families with incomes less than 200 percent of the poverty threshold, 68 percent had a dental visit in the past year, compared with 82 percent of children in families with incomes of 200 percent or more of the poverty threshold.

Housing challenges
Inadequate, crowded, or costly housing can pose serious problems to children's physical, psychological, and material well-being. In 2005, 40 percent of U.S. households (both owners and renters) with children had one or more of three housing problems: physically inadequate housing, crowded housing, or a housing-cost burden of more than 30 percent of household income. Cost burdens have driven significant increases in the incidence of problems since 2003, when 37 percent of households had one or more of these housing problems, as well as over the long term. Severe cost burdens—housing costs exceeding 50 percent of income—are especially prevalent among the lowest-income renters, affecting 45 percent of very-low-income renters with children in 2005.

Talk with your teens about these statistics. If your teen daughter is pregnant, brainstorm with her about ways your family can address these possible challenges should they arise. In what ways do these possible challenges affect your pregnant teen's thinking about single parenting and her thinking about adoption? Does your community or church offer a support group for single parents? Does your community have a pregnancy resource center that offers support to single parents? Are there any housing options that your daughter's family could safely share with another single parent's family in order to reduce expenses? Does your single parent daughter have any interest in marrying? What could your family do to read to the children every single day? Brainstorm ideas for getting dental care for your daughter's children.

America's Birth Rates

CNN titled their article "Teen pregnancies up for first time in 15 years", based on data from this year's "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" from the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. CNN says that teen pregnancy went up for the first time in 15 years. But that's not explicitely what the data is saying! The data says live BIRTHS to teens increased. Was there an increase in pregnancy, or simply an increase in choosing birth over abortion? Or were there fewer miscarriages? Or was there an increase in multiple births? The data does not talk about any of these factors, so concluding that pregnancy is up is not proveable based on this data. The only thing the data proves is that births were up. It is quite possible that the total number of pregnancies was stable; the data does not say one way or the other.

There were 51 births (not just pregnancies, so these statistics do not include abortions and miscarriages) for every 1,000 unmarried women ages 15–44 in 2006, up from 48 per 1,000 in 2005 (figure 2) [1]. This increase in birth count has many influences: multiple births have increased due to infertility treatments, abortion rates may be lower, as demographics change we may see more births due to varied cultural values, etc. Since abortion rates are not a mandatory reporting category, we have no way to officially and formally compare births to abortions. Some agencies give estimated comparisons based on the limited data that is available. Note that this statistic does not count births to women under the age of 15. I don't know whether this information isn't collected or isn't tabulated, but procedures need to change to account for all births instead of assuming a particular 'childbearing age' range.

In 2006, the adolescent birth rate (to unmarried teens AND married teens combined) [3] was 22 births per 1,000 young women ages 15–17 (138,920 births), up from 21 births per 1,000 in 2005 (Figure 3). This was the first increase in this measure since the increase between 1990 and 1991 [4, 5, 6]. Again, the data is not proving an increase in total numbers of pregnancy, simply an increase in the number of women giving birth.

Between 1991 and 2005, the birth rate for Black, non-Hispanic teenagers ages 15–17 dropped from 86 to 35 per 1,000. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are Black teens choosing birth over abortion slightly more than they did in the past?

Between 1991 and 2004, the birth rate for White, non-Hispanic teenagers dropped from 24 to 12 per 1,000 [4, 6]. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are White teens choosing birth over abortion slithly more than they did in the past?


The birth rate for unmarried women has risen rapidly since 2002. [2]

• The rate had been relatively stable between the mid–1990s and 2002, following a long-term increase between 1960 and 1994.
• In 2006, 38 percent of all births were to unmarried women, up from 37 percent in 2005.

Between 1980 and 2006, the percentage of births to unmarried women rose sharply for women in all age groups:

• Among teenagers, the percentage rose from 62 to 92 percent for ages 15–17 and from 40 to 81 percent for ages 18–19. So apparently teens in the 1980s were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage tripled for births to women in their twenties, from 19 to 58 percent for women ages 20–24 and from 9 to 31 percent for women ages 25–29. Again, apparently 20-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage of births to unmarried women in their thirties more than doubled from 8 to 18 percent. Again, apparently 30-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.

If you are the parent of a daughter who is pregnant and single (at any age group), you are certainly not alone!

[1] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[2] National Center for Health Statistics. National Vital Statistics System. (2007). Unpublished tabulations.
[3] The birth rate for adolescents ages 15–17 includes married and unmarried teenagers.
[4] Martin, J.A., Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., Ventura, S.J., Menacker, F.J., Kirmeyer, S., and Munson, M.L. (2007). Births: Final data for 2005. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(6). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[5] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[6] Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., and Ventura, S.J. (2003). Revised birth and fertility rates for the 1990s: United States, and new rates for Hispanic populations, 2000 and 2001. National Vital Statistics Reports, 51(12). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.

Sexual Behavior in America's Children

Data from this year's "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" from the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics.

In the "Behavior" section of the America's Children report:

• Early sexual activity is associated with emotional [1][2] and physical health risks. (See also our post on the benefits of delaying sexual debut. Share the research studies with your kids and talk to them about the findings. What do your kids think about the study results?)



• The percentage of students in grades 9–12 who reported ever having had sexual intercourse declined from 54 percent in 1991 to 46 percent in 2001 and remained stable from 2001 to 2005. (In your opinion, does this decline and stability argue that abstinence education works or does not work?)



• In 2005, 18 percent of students in grades 9–12 who had sexual intercourse in the past 3 months reported that they or their partner had used birth control pills before their last sexual intercourse and 63 percent reported condom use. While there was no statistically significant change in the use of birth control pills, condom use among high school students has increased from 1991 (from 46 percent to 63 percent). (In your opinion, if abstinence education is a failure, why are more teens using condoms now?)

[1] Hallfors, D., Waller, M., Bauer, D., Ford C., and Halpern, C. (2005). Which comes first in adolescence—sex and drugs or depression? American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 29(3), 163–170.
[2] Meier, A.M. (2007). Adolescent first sex and subsequent mental health. American Journal of Sociology 112(6): 1811–47.

Teen Dating Abuse

A recent article on CNN.com, "Survey reveals abuse in teen relationships" summarizes a survey showing that teens and preteens endure a significant level of abuse in their dating relationships, and that most parents are unaware of the abuse. Go here on loveisrespect.orgto see a PDF with more details and more study results.

• "69% percent of teens who had sex by age 14 reported some type of abuse in a relationship, with slightly more than one-third saying they had been physically abused."


• About "10% of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, while 20 percent said they had sex between the ages of 15 and 16."


• Nearly 50% of 11-14 year olds say they have been in a dating relationship. When did these very young people start dating? These dating relationships began at age 10 or younger for 9% of those surveyed, at age 11-12 for 28% of respondants, at age 13-14 for 35% of respondants, at age 15-16 for 25% of those surveyed, and after the age of 16 for 3% of those surveyed.


• "20% of 13- or 14-year-olds in relationships say they know friends and peers who have been "struck in anger" by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 62% have friends who have been called stupid, worthless or ugly by their dates."


• "About 51% say they are aware of the warning signs of hurtful dating relationship."


• "54% said they would know what to do if a friend came to them for help."


• "Data reveals that early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers."


• More than 25% of tweens (age 11-14) AND parents say that sexual activity is a part of tween dating relationships. However, parents do not believe their own tween has engaged in these behaviors. 70% of parents who say they haven't talked to their tween about relationships say it is because their child is too young. However, take a look at the sexual activities tweens are engaging in:
  
  
  
  • 70% of tweens and 56% of parents say that kissing is a part of a tween (aged 11-14)dating relationship.
  
  
  • 49% of tweens and 39% of parents say that "making out" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 37% of tweens and 31% of parents say that touching & "feeling up" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 27% of tweens and 26% of parents say that oral sex is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 28% of tweens and 26% of parents say that sexual intercourse is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.


• Among 11-14 year olds who have been in a dating relationship,
  
  • 62% say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called names, put down, or insulted, whether in person or over a cellphone, instant message, or social networking site) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 61% had been been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 47% had been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 36% had been abused verbally by their partner.
  
  
  • 36% say they know friends who have been pressured by a boyfriend/girlfriend to do things they didn't want to do.
  
  
  • 16% say they know friends who have been hurt (kicked, hit, slapped or punched) by an angry partner . Among all teens who had sex by age 14, 69% report experiencing one or more types of relationship abuse. 34% of these tweens say they were physically abused by an angry partner (hit, kicked, or choked). Among all teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner. Among all teens who had sex after age 16, 9% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner.
  
  
  • 15% say they know friends who have been pressured into having sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 34% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 22% said they had been pressured into sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to.
  
  
  • 13% say they know friends who have been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 36% said they had been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% had been pressured into oral sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% had been pressured into having oral sex.


• Being controlled by their dating partner is also reported.
  
  • 36% of teens report their partner wanted to know where they were all the time. 37% of teens report their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time. Among teens who had sex by age 14 (tweens), 58% report their partner wanted to know where they were, and 59% said their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time.
  
  
  • Other controlling behaviors included being told what to do, being pressured to do things they didn't want to to, the partner tried to prevent them from spending time with family and other friends, and the partner asked them to spend time only with him/her.
  
  
  • 23% of tweens know someone their own age who has had a partner threaten to spread rumors if they didn't do as they were told by the partner.
  
  
  • 29% of tweens know a peer who had a partner call to check up on them more than 10 times per day.
  
  
  • 24% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who texted to check up on them more than 20 times per day.
  
  
  • 18% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who called/texted to check up on them between the hours of midnight and 5am.
  
  
  • 9% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who shared private or embarassing pictures of them.
  
  
  • 8% of tweens know a peer who had a parter who made them afraid to not respond to a call/email/text message.

There is a LOT to talk about here!

• What is your definition of dating? What is your daughter's definition of dating?
• When does your daughter say she began dating? When did you think she began dating?
• What does your daughter think is abuse in a relationship? What do you think abuse is?
• What does your duaghter think are signs of power and control in a relationship? What do you think?
• Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been abused in a dating relationship?
• Has your daughter been abused in a dating relationship? Is she currently being abused?
• What sexual activity does your daughter think is appropriate in a dating relationship at her age? What are your thoughts?
• Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been pressured to do something they didn't want to do by a dating partner?
• Has your daughter been pressured by a dating partner to do something she didn't want to do? Is she currently being pressured?
• Does your daughter know a peer who has been pressured into having oral sex or sex when they didn't want to?
• Has your daughter been pressured into having oral sex or sex when she didn't want to? Is she currently being pressured?
• Does your daughter know a peer who has been controlled by a partner?
• Has your daughter been controlled by a dating partner? Is she currently being controlled?

Brainstorm with your daughter about ways that she can spot an abusive relationship. What should she do, who should she talk to?

If your daughter has been abused, or is being abused, get her the medical attention and counseling she needs.

Opting to Get Pregnant

A recent opinion column in the Washington Times, titled "Many Teens Opt to Get Pregnant", by Cheryl Wetzstein, lists some of the reasons that teens say they get pregnant according to a 1998 Guttmacher Institute study of 187 California teen mothers - 32% of whom intended to get pregnant.

• "I like babies, having something that's mine"
• "It's weird, but something or someone is telling me to have a baby"
• Some teens will see having a baby as a way to confirm their love relationships.
• Motherhood can catapult a teen into womanhood and a higher social status: to poor girls, becoming a mother is "the surest source of accomplishment within their reach."

Talk to your pregnant daughter about these points. Do any of these reasons play into her thinking?

Discuss what makes someone an adult. Is it just age? Is it responsibilities? How is independence defined in her words?

What are her current goals in life, short term and long term? What accomplishments would she like to finish? How will she get there? What practical step can she take towards these goals right now?

Abusive Relationships

An article on ScienceDaily.com, "Teen Girls Report Abusive Boyfriends Try To Get Them Pregnant" summarizes a study "based on interviews with 61 girls from a variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds with a known history of intimate partner violence living in the poorest neighborhoods in Boston. The analysis included 53 girls between the ages of 15 and 20 who reported being sexually active and involved in relationships that included recurring patterns of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from a male partner. Twenty-six percent of these girls reported that their partners were actively trying to get them pregnant by manipulating condom use, sabotaging birth control use and making explicit statements about wanting them to become pregnant."

Talk to your daughter about the study mentioned above.

• Has her partner ever hit, pushed, shoved, or otherwise physically hurt her?
• Has her partner ever threatened physical violence against her?
• Has her partner ever sexually abused her?
• Has her partner told her he is trying to get her pregnant?
• Has her partner emotionally abused her? For example, by calling her names or humiliating her in front of others?
• Does your daughter need help escaping from this relationship?

If your daughter's partner is abusive, discuss with her what steps you both can take to improve her physical safety. Should a restraining order be sought against the partner? Also help your daughter get the counseling she needs so that she can address the mental wounds she has received and heal so that she does not find herself in another abusive relationship.

Episode 1 - Secret Life of American Teenager

The first episode of ABC Family's "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" premiered last night. Reviewers who saw the show early and posted their comments yesterday before the show aired said both good things and bad things about the show. Did you watch it? What did you think? If you missed the show on TV, you can watch the two most-recent episodes online (click tab "Full Episode").

Here's a few of the things we noted. Discussion ideas in italics.

• The show is rated TV14 DLS. In this episode we didn't see overt drug usage (was there alcohol in one flash scene?), and language wasn't obvious except for one instance of 'frickin', but the show is filled with talk about sex. Not surprising given the intent of the show.
• Not-so-subtle cutesy birds and bees during the show opening theme.
• Mom (Molly Ringwald) says to Amy "You're only young once - you should be having a little fun" instead of spending so much time on marching band. What activities do your teens think fall into the category of 'having a little fun'?
• Girl pal of character Ben rattles off statistics like "25% of 15 year old guys are having sex", "20% of 15 year old girls are having sex," "29% of 15-17 year old sexually active girls have boyfriends 3-5 years older," and "46.8% of high school students are having sex." Do your teens know which of their peers are sexually active? How do they know? What do your teens think about a 15 year old dating a man who is 18-20? How is this opinion affected by research indicating that adolescent females have a higher probability of contracting an STI when their sexual partner is substantially older?
• Amy (15) says her first sexual experience was "not that great", over quickly, "not romantic", "definitely wasn't fun," and "not like the movies". She says she didn't realize what was happening at first. We then learn that bad-boy Ricky is the father of her child.
• Grace (the ditzy Christian cheerleader) is talking to her boyfriend Jack (the hormone fueled football player) about her new promise ring and her plans to save sex for marriage and to not get married until after college and medical school. What are your teen's current plans for education, marriage and onset of sexual activity? What do they think of Grace's plans?
• Jack says, "Sexual purity, in or out of marriage, isn't a one-time vow, Grace. It's a daily recommitment to God and His plan for us." What do your teen's think God's plan is, related to marriage and sexual purity?
• Jack then goes on to ask if oral sex is okay before marriage if two people are committed to one another and in love with each other. Grace says oral sex is sex and that Jack needs to keep his mind away from those thoughts. What sexual activities do your teens think is allowed outside of marriage? How can they stay away from activities that cross this line?
• Ben (who will apparently be Amy's love interest in the show) talks to the guidance counselor about joining band class in order to impress Amy. At first he says he wants to join because he is in love with her, but later admits his motivation is sex. Ben says he is a virgin and he "has to start somewhere". What do your teens think about Ben's motives for joining band? What do your teens think about the advice from Ben's friends that Grace wasn't available sexually but that Amy would be a better target, in part because she might be desperate enough? Do your teens know any girls who have been targeted this way, by a boy who just wants a starting sexual encounter so he can move up the ladder to other sexual partners?
• After three positive pregnancy tests, Amy says "I can't believe I'm old enough to use the word 'pregnant' in a sentence, much less BE pregnant." What emotions do your teens think they might experience if they were to learn that they were pregnant right now? Or that they were the father of a baby?
• At the dinner table, Amy's 13 year old sister (in trouble for breaking the school dress code) says, "Why should I follow the rules when no one else does?" Dad jumps in and says that the 13 year old daughter dresses "like a street walker." He continues, "We take our hard earned money to buy you decent clothes that meet the dress code requirement." He also says that family has a dress code too & she didn't break only school rules but their rules too. Does your teen's school have a dress code or a uniform? Does your family have a dress code? What clothing that your teens currently own would you prefer them to not wear? Ask your teens what messages they think their clothing sends to the opposite sex.
• Dad asks what she's trying to prove - that she isn't 13? That she's sexy? He says, "You're not sexy. Do you even know what sexy means? It means you're ready to have sex and you are not ready to have sex. Neither of my daughters are ready to have sex and you two will not be ready to have sex for a long time." Do your teens agree with the idea that dressing sexy sends a message that you are ready to have sex? How old do your teens think someone should be before they dress sexy?
• Dad then says, "Maybe after you've been married a couple of years - make sure its going to work out first." What does this statement show us about his views on marriage?
• One scene has Ricky talking to a "shrink" that he has apparently been seeing for years. The counselor asks Ricky "Why do these sexual conquests make you feel like a man?" He goes on, "Having sex with as many women as you can is not going to make you feel any better. And I think it's making you feel worse." He later asks Ricky if he can see the relationship between loving himself and not having sex with every woman he meets. He points out that Ricky is constantly fighting to prove his masculinity. Do your teens know anyone who acts like sexual conquests make him more manly?
• Amy's friends come up with the plan that Amy should get Ben to fall in love with her, have sex with her so she can say she's pregnant by Ben and marry him. What are the unrealistic points of this plan?

The show is very much a teen soap opera, with some high points and some low points, and lots of room for discussion along the way. Parents, your teens do want to talk with you about important issues like sex. Here are some tips to help get the conversation started.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also has a discussion guide for this episode (PDF file).