"Is Marriage In Our Future?"

The topic of marriage has been on the minds of some of our readers recently, with queries such as "should pregnant christian people get married?", and "when daughter does not have blessing of marriage", among others. There is no single answer that fits all situations. Choosing to marry the baby's father is a decision that should be made with careful consideration, prayer, and outside counseling.

Family & Consumer Sciences at Michigan State University Extension created a free program called "Caring for My Family." One of the lessons in this program is called "Is Marriage In Our Future?". Consider printing out this lesson and discussing it with your pregnant daughter and her baby's father. Help your daughter and the baby's father to get outside counseling about their relationship and its future. Some of the main points from this lesson are as follows.

The lesson first lists a few facts about marriage:
"In 2000, 58% of all men and 54% of all women over the age of 15 were married. For people age 35 through 44, 69% of men and 71% of women were married. In 2000, 8.3% of all men and 10.2% of all women over age 15 were divorced."

"Many people have studied the effects of marriage on people and society. These experts found that people who are married:
• Are healthier, in general
• Live longer
• Tend to have more money and more financial security

They also found that children who live with their married parents:
• Get more education
• Have better marriages when they grow up
• Feel better about themselves and their lives

But healthy marriages are important. People with marital problems tend to be:
• More depressed
• Get sick more often
• Have children who get sick more often
• Have children who are not well adjusted

And if people divorce, their health suffers. For example:
• Divorced adults have a greater chance of dying earlier
• Children whose parents divorce live an average of four years less"

The lesson makes a good point that not everyone is a good candidate for marriage. You should not automatically get married just because you are pregnant. If your partner is abusive, you should get help to get away from them, not marry them. The lesson suggests these "yellow flags" as areas to get counseling about when considering a potential marriage partner:

Yellow Flags About Marriage:

• If your partner is often very depressed, unsure of himself or herself, and very anxious.
  
  
• If either of you ask over and over again, “Are you sure you love me? Do you really care about me?”
  
  
• If you spend most of your time together arguing and disagreeing.
  
  
• If your partner overreacts to simple problems or situations.
  
  
• If you keep thinking, “Things will be better when we get married.”
  
  
• If your partners wants to make all the important decisions and you resent it.
  
  
• If you are feeling pressure to get married but don’t want to.
  
  
• If you spend a day alone with your partner (not watching television), and you find you can’t stand it.
  
  
• If your partner does things you cannot stand but you are afraid to tell him or her because he or she will get mad.
  

The lesson also suggests a few "red flags" and encourages you not to marry a person with these challenges until they have been resolved:

"Red Flags"

• If your partner is an addict and not in recovery.
  
  
• If your partner physically or verbally abuses you or your children.
  
  
• If your partner is very controlling and you are fearful of him.
  
  
• If your partner demands that you drop all your friends and not see your family.
  
  
• If your partner gets angry easily and can’t control his or her temper.
  
  
• If your partner takes money that is needed to buy food and other necessities.
  

With your daughter, each of you write out a list of the positive traits a good marriage partner should have, and a list of the negative traits they should not have. Compare your lists. Then discuss how your daughter matches these lists and how the baby's father matches these lists. No one is perfect and each person will have a mix of positive and negative marriage traits. Try to be realistic and thorough.

The lesson suggests some questions to ask yourself:
• Do you believe that your future husband or wife will change if you get married? The facts show that most of us do not change very much or very quickly.
• Do you believe that you will be different when you get married? Do you hope that getting married will give you a fresh start and you can leave your problems behind? Most of us bring “baggage” with us into our marriages. If we had unhappy childhoods or don’t get along well with our parents, we will carry these problems into our marriage.
• Do you struggle with depression, anxiety, anger, being overly sensitive to criticism, or having frequent mood swings? Get help with these problems before getting married. Work on building your relationship with your own parents.
• Are you closing your eyes to your own or your partner’s faults? Most of us tend to not see our partner’s faults before we get married. Then after we are married we notice every fault.

Finally, the lesson suggests a three things that help make a marriage more successful:
"1) A marriage lasts when couples are able to solve the disagreements and conflict that are a part of every relationship.
2) A marriage must have at least five positive moments for every negative moment between the couple. In other words acts of kindness need to outweigh criticism and other negative behavior by a ratio of five to one.
3) But it is not a matter of just being nice. Instead, it is learning to calm oneself, to listen and respond nondefensively, and to stick together even when the going gets rough.
So, a healthy marriage involves more than marrying the “right person.” It also involves learning to manage conflict, to talk to each other and to stay committed during the tough times. It means becoming friends."

You may find it helpful to read the following chapters in our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy": "Should they marry?", "Teen marriage success", "Should she parent alone?", "Where does the baby's father belong in all this?", "The importance of a father", and "Single moms and church".

Educate yourself and daughter about Shaken Baby Syndrome

A recent article on CNN.com was titled "New Year's baby's death shatters family, relationships" and shares the story of baby Camryn Jakeb Wilson who died just a few months later from Shaken Baby Syndrome.

It is very important that everyone in your family take the time to learn about Shaken Baby Syndrome. Make sure that the baby's father or father figure learns about this topic too.

"The National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome estimates as many as 1,400 babies annually are injured or killed by shaking. According to the center, 70 percent to 79 percent of people convicted of killing or hurting babies are men. The average age of perpetrators is 24, and 82 percent are either the parent of the victim or the live-in boyfriend of the mother."

According to the National Center on Shaken Baby Syndrome, "Violently shaking an infant for just a few seconds can cause:
• Brain injury leading to paralysis, mild to severe cognitive impairment, cerebral palsy
• Blindness
• Broken bones
• Death
Normal activities such as bouncing a baby on one's knee, tossing it in the air or jogging with a baby on one's back do not cause shaken baby syndrome."



The #1 reason that people shake and damage babies is that they have been unable to figure out why the baby is crying.

How to cope with a baby who is crying and cannot be comforted:



Talk with your pregnant daughter about this information. Help her write a list of things she can do when she gets frustrated with her baby. Talk with her about screening the people who will care for her baby: are they trustworthy? have they been educated about shaken baby syndrome? are they prone to frustration, anger, or physical abuse? How can the safety of her baby be improved?

Recent adoption statistics

The CDC National Center for Health Statistics recently released statistics about adoption, Adoption Experiences of Women and Men and Demand for Children to Adopt by Women 18-44 Years of Age in the United States (PDF), 2002. Series 23, Number 27.

One-third of all women 18–44 years of age had ever considered adopting a child. Of these, about one of seven had taken steps to adopt.

Women who had ever taken steps to adopt were more likely to be 30–44 years of age, to be currently married, to have used infertility services, and to be surgically sterile or with impaired fertility.

Overall, 1.6% of all women and 2.0% of ever-married women 18–44 years of age were currently seeking to adopt a child. Of these, approximately two-thirds were currently taking steps to adopt.

Higher percentages of Hispanic women and non-Hispanic black women were currently seeking to adopt a child compared with non-Hispanic white women.

Nearly 1 million women were seeking to adopt children in 2002, whereas the domestic supply of infants relinquished at birth or within the first month of life and available to be adopted had become virtually nonexistent.

Talk with your pregnant daughter about adoption in general. Is she interested in her child being adopted by someone in the family, or by a non-related family she chooses? If she is interested in learning more about this possibility, get education from a pregnancy help center or an adoption professional.

Younger age at first intercourse may signal past abuse

Why do teens get pregnant? Some of them are the victims of sexual abuse. Some teens are pregnant directly by their abuser, and some are pregnant because of self-defeating behaviors that are a result of coping with abuse.

Sexually abused girls may initiate intercourse earlier than their peers and engage in a wide variety of high-risk behaviors, including substance abuse. The average age of first intercourse for abused girls is 13.8, in contrast to the national average of 16.2. If your daughter is pregnant or has been sexually active at an age lower than the national average, ask her if she has experienced sexual abuse.

How does child abuse affect teenage pregnancy and promiscuity? These statistics are from the Darkness to Light organization:

• Children who have been victims of sexual abuse exhibit long-term and more frequent behavioral problems, particularly inappropriate sexual behaviors.
  
• Women who report childhood rape are 3 times more likely to become pregnant before age 18.
  
• An estimated 60% of teen first pregnancies are preceded by experiences of molestation, rape, or attempted rape. The average age of their offenders is 27 years.
  
• Victims of child sexual abuse are more likely to be sexually promiscuous.
  
• More than 75% of teenage prostitutes have been sexually abused.
  

Talk to all your daughters about these statistics, and ask them to tell you about any abuse they have recieved. If your daughter has been abused, get her medical assistance, counseling, and talk to authorities about reporting the abuse.

The Effects of Teen Pregnancy

The Campaign for Our Children has a fact sheet called "The Effects of Teen Pregnancy" which lists the following statistics. Talk to your kids about these.

The Effects of Teen Pregnancy

50% of adolescents who have a baby become pregnant again within two years of the baby’s birth. We posted about this topic just the other day: "A Second (or Third) Teen Pregnancy". Talk to your kids about choosing sexual integrity.

Only 41% of teenage mothers complete high school, making it less likely for teen mothers to have the skills necessary to qualify for a well-paying job. Help your pregnant daughter finish school and get job skills. Help your daughter identify some goals for education and job training. With your pregnant daughter, research adoption to see if this option would benefit your daughter and her child.

Almost 50% of all teen mothers and more than 75% of unmarried teen mothers begin receiving welfare within five years of the birth of their first child. Help your daughter find other community resources that can help too. With your pregnant daughter, research adoption to see if this option would benefit your daughter and her child.

Nearly 80% of fathers of children born to teen mothers do not marry the mothers. How is the relationship between your pregnant daughter and the baby's father? Does your daughter hope to marry him, or has he disappeared? What challenges will your daughter face if she chooses to be a single mother? How could your whole family help her with these challenges? Is adoption an option that would be beneficial to your daughter and her child?

Teen fathers pay less than $800 in child support. With your pregnant daughter, figure our how much money she will need each month to support herself and her child. How much support will your family be able to help her with?

Children born to teen mothers are more likely to have low birth weight and related problems such as infant death, blindness, and mental retardation. Make sure your pregnant teen gets medical care right away. Your pregnant teen also needs proper nutrition for herself and her child.

Children of teen parents often receive inadequate parenting, are subject to abuse and neglect, and often have insufficient health care. Help your pregnant daughter start learning about parenting skills. Also research with your daughter to see if adoption would be an appropriate solution to this area of challenge for her.

Children of teen parents are 50% more likely to repeat a grade, perform poorly on standardized tests, and ultimately less likely to complete high school. If your daughter plans to parent her child, how can your family and other community resources help her child overcome this education challenge? Also research with your daughter to see if adoption would be an appropriate solution to this area of challenge for her.

Sources:
1. National Vital Statistics, Vol. 50, No. 50, 2002
2. National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy (2002). Not Just Another Single Issue, Washington, DC.
3. Maynard, R.A. (1996). Kids having kids: A Robin Hood Foundation special report on the costs of adolescent childbearing. New York, Robin Hood Foundation.

Non-voluntary Sexual Intercourse

According to the Fertility, Family Planning, and Reproductive Health of U.S. Women: Data from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. (PHS) 2006-1977. 174 pp.

In 2002, 8% of sexually experienced women 18–44 years of age reported that their first sexual intercourse was not voluntary.

+ Younger age at first sexual intercourse was associated with higher reporting of nonvoluntary first intercourse. 20% of women who first had intercourse before 15 years of age reported their first intercourse as not voluntary compared with 4% of women who first had intercourse at 20 years or over. This relationship between earlier first intercourse and higher reporting of nonvoluntary first intercourse is seen across Hispanic origin and race groups.

Nearly 23% of women aged 18–44 in 2002 had been forced to have intercourse at some time in their lives, about the same as seen in 1995.
+ About 5% of women were first forced to have intercourse at ages younger than 15 years; another 6% were first forced at ages 15–17 years and 4% at ages 18–19 years.
+ Women who were not living with both parents at age 14 were more likely to have experienced forced sexual intercourse at some time (31%) than women who lived with both parents (20%).

Talk to your daughter about these statistics. How old was she when she first had intercourse? Did she participate willingly? If not, make sure she gets counseling to heal this emotional wound, and medical care to check for STDs and any physical damage. If your pregnant daughter currently plans to be a single mother, brainstorm with her about ways that she can increase the protection of her child.


+ Of the women who reported that their FIRST sexual intercourse was not voluntary, 19% reported that they had been ‘‘pressured into it by his words or actions, but without threats of harm,’’ and this was the most common type of force.
+ The other types of force asked about, for example: 9% had been given alcohol or drugs, 8% reported ‘‘yes’’ to the item ‘‘Did what he said because he was bigger or grownup, and you were young,’’ 5% had been ‘‘physically held down,’’ and 3% had been ‘‘physically hurt or injured.’’

Talk with all your children about how they could try to get out of situations where they are being pressured to have sex by their partner's words or actions. What should they say? What should they do? Who should they later talk to about what happened?

Depression After Childbirth

We've written about postpartum depression previously, but it's a topic worth covering repeatedly.

A recent survey found that many Oklahoma women suffer from depression after childbirth. These results are likely very similar to what would be found in other areas too. Here is the text of a press release from the Oklahoma Department of Health, with commentary added:

One in four (25%) new mothers in Oklahoma report symptoms of maternal depression after giving birth, according to a recent study conducted by the Oklahoma State Department of Health (OSDH).

Using the Pregnancy Risk Assessment Monitoring System (PRAMS), an ongoing statewide survey of maternal behaviors and experiences, OSDH officials found that 40% of Oklahoma mothers did not discuss postpartum depression, or PPD, with their health care provider.

Of special concern were adolescent mothers, who were 2.5 times more likely to indicate symptoms of PPD as mothers age 35 and older.

“These findings are of major concern to health care professionals and should place families on alert to watch out for signs and symptoms of depression in new mothers,” said Secretary of Health and Commissioner of Health Dr. Michael Crutcher.

The symptoms of postpartum depression include:

• loss of interest in pleasure in life;
• change in appetite;
• less energy and motivation to do things;
• having a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or sleeping more than usual;
• increased crying and tearfulness;
• feeling worthless, hopeless or overly guilty;
• feeling restless, irritable or anxious;
• and having unexplained weight loss or gain.
• Additional symptoms include feeling like life isn’t worth living,
• having thoughts of hurting yourself or worrying about hurting the baby,
• or someone else hurting the baby.

Among the stressors found to increase the risk of depression symptoms are:

• arguing with a partner more than usual during pregnancy,
• having bills one cannot pay, and
• having an unintended pregnancy.
  

Additional highlights from the Oklahoma PRAMS survey on PPD include the following:

• Women ages 20 to 24 were twice as likely to indicate symptoms of depression when compared to women 35 or older.
• Women with infants placed in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) were at a higher risk for depression.
• Mothers are at special risk for postpartum depression when caring for infants born prematurely or infants with special health care needs.
• Women who did not receive a postpartum checkup were also at a higher risk for symptoms of postpartum depression when compared to women who did receive their postpartum checkup.
  

To address PPD, public health officials recommend the following:

Ask your daughter's doctor to screen your pregnant daughter for maternal depression before birth at a late-term prenatal visit.

Ask your daughter's doctor to screen your daughter for maternal depression at each doctor visit during the first year after the birth of her child.

Make sure your daughter understands the importance of returning for her postpartum checkup around six weeks after delivery.

If your daughter has an infant in the NICU, search for support groups near your home and in the hospital, and research more information on PPD.

Ask your Medicaid provider if there are any maternal and infant health licensed clinical social work services available to your daughter.

Ask your doctor, nurse, and hospital staff for education about PPD awareness, referrals for treatment and follow-up care.

Encourage new mothers with signs and symptoms of depression to call the PSI national hotline 1-800-944-4PPD. Information is also available at http://www.postpartum.net.

Ask your daughter's school counselors what support they can provide for pregnant and postpartum adolescents to cope with the stress of motherhood, schoolwork and feelings of isolation.

Challenges of poverty

In a report called "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" there are some recent statistics that highlight the challenges your single parent daughter may need help with. In a previous post, we noted the statistics that more and more women are choosing to be single parents. As you see below, many single parents live in poverty. So if your daughter is a single mother, know that you are not alone in the challenges you face!

Economic Circumstances
In 2006, children living in families with a female head with no husband present (female-householder families) continued to experience a higher poverty rate (42 percent) than children living in married-couple families (8 percent). If your single parent daughter and her child live below the poverty line, your grandchild is exposed to the possibility of several other challenges: education, health care, and housing. Will every single parent face these challenges? No. Will every family living below the poverty line face these challenges? No. But if your daughter is a single parent, these are possible additional challenges.

Children's Education Challenges
Children in families with incomes of 200 percent or more of the poverty threshold were more likely to be read to daily by a family member (65 percent) than were children in families with incomes 100–199 percent of the poverty threshold (60 percent) or those in families with incomes below the poverty threshold (50 percent) in 2005.

Dental Health Challenges
Good oral health requires professional dental care as well as routine personal care. The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends regular dental visits beginning at 1 year of age. Among children living in families with incomes less than 200 percent of the poverty threshold, 68 percent had a dental visit in the past year, compared with 82 percent of children in families with incomes of 200 percent or more of the poverty threshold.

Housing challenges
Inadequate, crowded, or costly housing can pose serious problems to children's physical, psychological, and material well-being. In 2005, 40 percent of U.S. households (both owners and renters) with children had one or more of three housing problems: physically inadequate housing, crowded housing, or a housing-cost burden of more than 30 percent of household income. Cost burdens have driven significant increases in the incidence of problems since 2003, when 37 percent of households had one or more of these housing problems, as well as over the long term. Severe cost burdens—housing costs exceeding 50 percent of income—are especially prevalent among the lowest-income renters, affecting 45 percent of very-low-income renters with children in 2005.

Talk with your teens about these statistics. If your teen daughter is pregnant, brainstorm with her about ways your family can address these possible challenges should they arise. In what ways do these possible challenges affect your pregnant teen's thinking about single parenting and her thinking about adoption? Does your community or church offer a support group for single parents? Does your community have a pregnancy resource center that offers support to single parents? Are there any housing options that your daughter's family could safely share with another single parent's family in order to reduce expenses? Does your single parent daughter have any interest in marrying? What could your family do to read to the children every single day? Brainstorm ideas for getting dental care for your daughter's children.

America's Birth Rates

CNN titled their article "Teen pregnancies up for first time in 15 years", based on data from this year's "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" from the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics. CNN says that teen pregnancy went up for the first time in 15 years. But that's not explicitely what the data is saying! The data says live BIRTHS to teens increased. Was there an increase in pregnancy, or simply an increase in choosing birth over abortion? Or were there fewer miscarriages? Or was there an increase in multiple births? The data does not talk about any of these factors, so concluding that pregnancy is up is not proveable based on this data. The only thing the data proves is that births were up. It is quite possible that the total number of pregnancies was stable; the data does not say one way or the other.

There were 51 births (not just pregnancies, so these statistics do not include abortions and miscarriages) for every 1,000 unmarried women ages 15–44 in 2006, up from 48 per 1,000 in 2005 (figure 2) [1]. This increase in birth count has many influences: multiple births have increased due to infertility treatments, abortion rates may be lower, as demographics change we may see more births due to varied cultural values, etc. Since abortion rates are not a mandatory reporting category, we have no way to officially and formally compare births to abortions. Some agencies give estimated comparisons based on the limited data that is available. Note that this statistic does not count births to women under the age of 15. I don't know whether this information isn't collected or isn't tabulated, but procedures need to change to account for all births instead of assuming a particular 'childbearing age' range.

In 2006, the adolescent birth rate (to unmarried teens AND married teens combined) [3] was 22 births per 1,000 young women ages 15–17 (138,920 births), up from 21 births per 1,000 in 2005 (Figure 3). This was the first increase in this measure since the increase between 1990 and 1991 [4, 5, 6]. Again, the data is not proving an increase in total numbers of pregnancy, simply an increase in the number of women giving birth.

Between 1991 and 2005, the birth rate for Black, non-Hispanic teenagers ages 15–17 dropped from 86 to 35 per 1,000. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are Black teens choosing birth over abortion slightly more than they did in the past?

Between 1991 and 2004, the birth rate for White, non-Hispanic teenagers dropped from 24 to 12 per 1,000 [4, 6]. The birth rate for this group increased in 2006. Are White teens choosing birth over abortion slithly more than they did in the past?


The birth rate for unmarried women has risen rapidly since 2002. [2]

• The rate had been relatively stable between the mid–1990s and 2002, following a long-term increase between 1960 and 1994.
• In 2006, 38 percent of all births were to unmarried women, up from 37 percent in 2005.

Between 1980 and 2006, the percentage of births to unmarried women rose sharply for women in all age groups:

• Among teenagers, the percentage rose from 62 to 92 percent for ages 15–17 and from 40 to 81 percent for ages 18–19. So apparently teens in the 1980s were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage tripled for births to women in their twenties, from 19 to 58 percent for women ages 20–24 and from 9 to 31 percent for women ages 25–29. Again, apparently 20-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.
• The percentage of births to unmarried women in their thirties more than doubled from 8 to 18 percent. Again, apparently 30-somethings were much more likely to get married when pregnant than they are currently.

If you are the parent of a daughter who is pregnant and single (at any age group), you are certainly not alone!

[1] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[2] National Center for Health Statistics. National Vital Statistics System. (2007). Unpublished tabulations.
[3] The birth rate for adolescents ages 15–17 includes married and unmarried teenagers.
[4] Martin, J.A., Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., Ventura, S.J., Menacker, F.J., Kirmeyer, S., and Munson, M.L. (2007). Births: Final data for 2005. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(6). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[5] Hamilton, B.E., Martin, J.A., and Ventura, S.J. (2007). Births: Preliminary data for 2006. National Vital Statistics Reports, 56(7). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.
[6] Hamilton, B.E., Sutton, P.D., and Ventura, S.J. (2003). Revised birth and fertility rates for the 1990s: United States, and new rates for Hispanic populations, 2000 and 2001. National Vital Statistics Reports, 51(12). Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics.

Sexual Behavior in America's Children

Data from this year's "America's Children in Brief: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, 2008" from the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics.

In the "Behavior" section of the America's Children report:

• Early sexual activity is associated with emotional [1][2] and physical health risks. (See also our post on the benefits of delaying sexual debut. Share the research studies with your kids and talk to them about the findings. What do your kids think about the study results?)



• The percentage of students in grades 9–12 who reported ever having had sexual intercourse declined from 54 percent in 1991 to 46 percent in 2001 and remained stable from 2001 to 2005. (In your opinion, does this decline and stability argue that abstinence education works or does not work?)



• In 2005, 18 percent of students in grades 9–12 who had sexual intercourse in the past 3 months reported that they or their partner had used birth control pills before their last sexual intercourse and 63 percent reported condom use. While there was no statistically significant change in the use of birth control pills, condom use among high school students has increased from 1991 (from 46 percent to 63 percent). (In your opinion, if abstinence education is a failure, why are more teens using condoms now?)

[1] Hallfors, D., Waller, M., Bauer, D., Ford C., and Halpern, C. (2005). Which comes first in adolescence—sex and drugs or depression? American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 29(3), 163–170.
[2] Meier, A.M. (2007). Adolescent first sex and subsequent mental health. American Journal of Sociology 112(6): 1811–47.

Teen Dating Abuse

A recent article on CNN.com, "Survey reveals abuse in teen relationships" summarizes a survey showing that teens and preteens endure a significant level of abuse in their dating relationships, and that most parents are unaware of the abuse. Go here on loveisrespect.orgto see a PDF with more details and more study results.

• "69% percent of teens who had sex by age 14 reported some type of abuse in a relationship, with slightly more than one-third saying they had been physically abused."


• About "10% of the teenagers surveyed said they had had sex by age 14, while 20 percent said they had sex between the ages of 15 and 16."


• Nearly 50% of 11-14 year olds say they have been in a dating relationship. When did these very young people start dating? These dating relationships began at age 10 or younger for 9% of those surveyed, at age 11-12 for 28% of respondants, at age 13-14 for 35% of respondants, at age 15-16 for 25% of those surveyed, and after the age of 16 for 3% of those surveyed.


• "20% of 13- or 14-year-olds in relationships say they know friends and peers who have been "struck in anger" by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 62% have friends who have been called stupid, worthless or ugly by their dates."


• "About 51% say they are aware of the warning signs of hurtful dating relationship."


• "54% said they would know what to do if a friend came to them for help."


• "Data reveals that early sexual activity appears to fuel dating violence and abuse among teenagers."


• More than 25% of tweens (age 11-14) AND parents say that sexual activity is a part of tween dating relationships. However, parents do not believe their own tween has engaged in these behaviors. 70% of parents who say they haven't talked to their tween about relationships say it is because their child is too young. However, take a look at the sexual activities tweens are engaging in:
  
  
  
  • 70% of tweens and 56% of parents say that kissing is a part of a tween (aged 11-14)dating relationship.
  
  
  • 49% of tweens and 39% of parents say that "making out" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 37% of tweens and 31% of parents say that touching & "feeling up" is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 27% of tweens and 26% of parents say that oral sex is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.
  
  
  • 28% of tweens and 26% of parents say that sexual intercourse is a part of a tween (aged 11-14) dating relationship.


• Among 11-14 year olds who have been in a dating relationship,
  
  • 62% say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called names, put down, or insulted, whether in person or over a cellphone, instant message, or social networking site) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 61% had been been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 47% had been abused verbally by their partner. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 36% had been abused verbally by their partner.
  
  
  • 36% say they know friends who have been pressured by a boyfriend/girlfriend to do things they didn't want to do.
  
  
  • 16% say they know friends who have been hurt (kicked, hit, slapped or punched) by an angry partner . Among all teens who had sex by age 14, 69% report experiencing one or more types of relationship abuse. 34% of these tweens say they were physically abused by an angry partner (hit, kicked, or choked). Among all teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner. Among all teens who had sex after age 16, 9% report experiencing physical abuse by their angry partner.
  
  
  • 15% say they know friends who have been pressured into having sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 34% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 22% said they had been pressured into sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% said they had been pressured into sex when they didn't want to.
  
  
  • 13% say they know friends who have been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex by age 14, 36% said they had been pressured into having oral sex when they didn't want to. Among teens who had sex at age 15 or 16, 20% had been pressured into oral sex. Among teens who had sex after age 16, 15% had been pressured into having oral sex.


• Being controlled by their dating partner is also reported.
  
  • 36% of teens report their partner wanted to know where they were all the time. 37% of teens report their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time. Among teens who had sex by age 14 (tweens), 58% report their partner wanted to know where they were, and 59% said their partner wanted to know who they were with all the time.
  
  
  • Other controlling behaviors included being told what to do, being pressured to do things they didn't want to to, the partner tried to prevent them from spending time with family and other friends, and the partner asked them to spend time only with him/her.
  
  
  • 23% of tweens know someone their own age who has had a partner threaten to spread rumors if they didn't do as they were told by the partner.
  
  
  • 29% of tweens know a peer who had a partner call to check up on them more than 10 times per day.
  
  
  • 24% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who texted to check up on them more than 20 times per day.
  
  
  • 18% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who called/texted to check up on them between the hours of midnight and 5am.
  
  
  • 9% of tweens know a peer who had a partner who shared private or embarassing pictures of them.
  
  
  • 8% of tweens know a peer who had a parter who made them afraid to not respond to a call/email/text message.

There is a LOT to talk about here!

• What is your definition of dating? What is your daughter's definition of dating?
• When does your daughter say she began dating? When did you think she began dating?
• What does your daughter think is abuse in a relationship? What do you think abuse is?
• What does your duaghter think are signs of power and control in a relationship? What do you think?
• Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been abused in a dating relationship?
• Has your daughter been abused in a dating relationship? Is she currently being abused?
• What sexual activity does your daughter think is appropriate in a dating relationship at her age? What are your thoughts?
• Does your daughter know someone in her age group who has been pressured to do something they didn't want to do by a dating partner?
• Has your daughter been pressured by a dating partner to do something she didn't want to do? Is she currently being pressured?
• Does your daughter know a peer who has been pressured into having oral sex or sex when they didn't want to?
• Has your daughter been pressured into having oral sex or sex when she didn't want to? Is she currently being pressured?
• Does your daughter know a peer who has been controlled by a partner?
• Has your daughter been controlled by a dating partner? Is she currently being controlled?

Brainstorm with your daughter about ways that she can spot an abusive relationship. What should she do, who should she talk to?

If your daughter has been abused, or is being abused, get her the medical attention and counseling she needs.

Opting to Get Pregnant

A recent opinion column in the Washington Times, titled "Many Teens Opt to Get Pregnant", by Cheryl Wetzstein, lists some of the reasons that teens say they get pregnant according to a 1998 Guttmacher Institute study of 187 California teen mothers - 32% of whom intended to get pregnant.

• "I like babies, having something that's mine"
• "It's weird, but something or someone is telling me to have a baby"
• Some teens will see having a baby as a way to confirm their love relationships.
• Motherhood can catapult a teen into womanhood and a higher social status: to poor girls, becoming a mother is "the surest source of accomplishment within their reach."

Talk to your pregnant daughter about these points. Do any of these reasons play into her thinking?

Discuss what makes someone an adult. Is it just age? Is it responsibilities? How is independence defined in her words?

What are her current goals in life, short term and long term? What accomplishments would she like to finish? How will she get there? What practical step can she take towards these goals right now?

Abusive Relationships

An article on ScienceDaily.com, "Teen Girls Report Abusive Boyfriends Try To Get Them Pregnant" summarizes a study "based on interviews with 61 girls from a variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds with a known history of intimate partner violence living in the poorest neighborhoods in Boston. The analysis included 53 girls between the ages of 15 and 20 who reported being sexually active and involved in relationships that included recurring patterns of physical, sexual or emotional abuse from a male partner. Twenty-six percent of these girls reported that their partners were actively trying to get them pregnant by manipulating condom use, sabotaging birth control use and making explicit statements about wanting them to become pregnant."

Talk to your daughter about the study mentioned above.

• Has her partner ever hit, pushed, shoved, or otherwise physically hurt her?
• Has her partner ever threatened physical violence against her?
• Has her partner ever sexually abused her?
• Has her partner told her he is trying to get her pregnant?
• Has her partner emotionally abused her? For example, by calling her names or humiliating her in front of others?
• Does your daughter need help escaping from this relationship?

If your daughter's partner is abusive, discuss with her what steps you both can take to improve her physical safety. Should a restraining order be sought against the partner? Also help your daughter get the counseling she needs so that she can address the mental wounds she has received and heal so that she does not find herself in another abusive relationship.

Episode 1 - Secret Life of American Teenager

The first episode of ABC Family's "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" premiered last night. Reviewers who saw the show early and posted their comments yesterday before the show aired said both good things and bad things about the show. Did you watch it? What did you think? If you missed the show on TV, you can watch the two most-recent episodes online (click tab "Full Episode").

Here's a few of the things we noted. Discussion ideas in italics.

• The show is rated TV14 DLS. In this episode we didn't see overt drug usage (was there alcohol in one flash scene?), and language wasn't obvious except for one instance of 'frickin', but the show is filled with talk about sex. Not surprising given the intent of the show.
• Not-so-subtle cutesy birds and bees during the show opening theme.
• Mom (Molly Ringwald) says to Amy "You're only young once - you should be having a little fun" instead of spending so much time on marching band. What activities do your teens think fall into the category of 'having a little fun'?
• Girl pal of character Ben rattles off statistics like "25% of 15 year old guys are having sex", "20% of 15 year old girls are having sex," "29% of 15-17 year old sexually active girls have boyfriends 3-5 years older," and "46.8% of high school students are having sex." Do your teens know which of their peers are sexually active? How do they know? What do your teens think about a 15 year old dating a man who is 18-20? How is this opinion affected by research indicating that adolescent females have a higher probability of contracting an STI when their sexual partner is substantially older?
• Amy (15) says her first sexual experience was "not that great", over quickly, "not romantic", "definitely wasn't fun," and "not like the movies". She says she didn't realize what was happening at first. We then learn that bad-boy Ricky is the father of her child.
• Grace (the ditzy Christian cheerleader) is talking to her boyfriend Jack (the hormone fueled football player) about her new promise ring and her plans to save sex for marriage and to not get married until after college and medical school. What are your teen's current plans for education, marriage and onset of sexual activity? What do they think of Grace's plans?
• Jack says, "Sexual purity, in or out of marriage, isn't a one-time vow, Grace. It's a daily recommitment to God and His plan for us." What do your teen's think God's plan is, related to marriage and sexual purity?
• Jack then goes on to ask if oral sex is okay before marriage if two people are committed to one another and in love with each other. Grace says oral sex is sex and that Jack needs to keep his mind away from those thoughts. What sexual activities do your teens think is allowed outside of marriage? How can they stay away from activities that cross this line?
• Ben (who will apparently be Amy's love interest in the show) talks to the guidance counselor about joining band class in order to impress Amy. At first he says he wants to join because he is in love with her, but later admits his motivation is sex. Ben says he is a virgin and he "has to start somewhere". What do your teens think about Ben's motives for joining band? What do your teens think about the advice from Ben's friends that Grace wasn't available sexually but that Amy would be a better target, in part because she might be desperate enough? Do your teens know any girls who have been targeted this way, by a boy who just wants a starting sexual encounter so he can move up the ladder to other sexual partners?
• After three positive pregnancy tests, Amy says "I can't believe I'm old enough to use the word 'pregnant' in a sentence, much less BE pregnant." What emotions do your teens think they might experience if they were to learn that they were pregnant right now? Or that they were the father of a baby?
• At the dinner table, Amy's 13 year old sister (in trouble for breaking the school dress code) says, "Why should I follow the rules when no one else does?" Dad jumps in and says that the 13 year old daughter dresses "like a street walker." He continues, "We take our hard earned money to buy you decent clothes that meet the dress code requirement." He also says that family has a dress code too & she didn't break only school rules but their rules too. Does your teen's school have a dress code or a uniform? Does your family have a dress code? What clothing that your teens currently own would you prefer them to not wear? Ask your teens what messages they think their clothing sends to the opposite sex.
• Dad asks what she's trying to prove - that she isn't 13? That she's sexy? He says, "You're not sexy. Do you even know what sexy means? It means you're ready to have sex and you are not ready to have sex. Neither of my daughters are ready to have sex and you two will not be ready to have sex for a long time." Do your teens agree with the idea that dressing sexy sends a message that you are ready to have sex? How old do your teens think someone should be before they dress sexy?
• Dad then says, "Maybe after you've been married a couple of years - make sure its going to work out first." What does this statement show us about his views on marriage?
• One scene has Ricky talking to a "shrink" that he has apparently been seeing for years. The counselor asks Ricky "Why do these sexual conquests make you feel like a man?" He goes on, "Having sex with as many women as you can is not going to make you feel any better. And I think it's making you feel worse." He later asks Ricky if he can see the relationship between loving himself and not having sex with every woman he meets. He points out that Ricky is constantly fighting to prove his masculinity. Do your teens know anyone who acts like sexual conquests make him more manly?
• Amy's friends come up with the plan that Amy should get Ben to fall in love with her, have sex with her so she can say she's pregnant by Ben and marry him. What are the unrealistic points of this plan?

The show is very much a teen soap opera, with some high points and some low points, and lots of room for discussion along the way. Parents, your teens do want to talk with you about important issues like sex. Here are some tips to help get the conversation started.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy also has a discussion guide for this episode (PDF file).

Your Pregnant Daughter Should Be Tested for STDs

As you may know, there is a lot of misinformation out there about pregnancy and health. Talk with your daughter about this information, and make sure she gets the medical care that she needs. If you cannot afford a private OBGYN visit, your local public health office may be able to offer STD testing. From the CDC Fact Sheet:

Can pregnant women become infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)?

Yes, women who are pregnant can become infected with the same sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) as women who are not pregnant. Pregnancy does not provide women or their babies any protection against STDs. The consequences of an STD can be significantly more serious, even life threatening, for a woman and her baby if the woman becomes infected with an STD while pregnant. It is important that women be aware of the harmful effects of STDs and know how to protect themselves and their children against infection.

How common are STDs in pregnant women in the United States?

Some STDs, such as genital herpes and bacterial vaginosis, are quite common in pregnant women in the United States. Other STDs, notably HIV and syphilis, are much less common in pregnant women. The table below shows the estimated number of pregnant women in the United States who are infected with specific STDs each year.

STDs Estimated Number of Pregnant Women
Bacterial vaginosis 1,080,000
Herpes simplex virus 2 880,000
Chlamydia 100,000
Trichomoniasis 124,000
Gonorrhea 13,200
Hepatitis B 16,000
HIV 6,400
Syphilis <1 ,000

How do STDs affect a pregnant woman and her baby?

STDs can have many of the same consequences for pregnant women as women who are not pregnant. STDs can cause cervical cancer and other cancers, chronic hepatitis, pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, and other complications. Many STDs in women are silent; that is, without signs or symptoms.

STDs can be passed from a pregnant woman to the baby before, during, or after the baby’s birth. Some STDs (like syphilis) cross the placenta and infect the baby while it is in the uterus (womb). Other STDs (like gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, and genital herpes) can be transmitted from the mother to the baby during delivery as the baby passes through the birth canal. HIV can cross the placenta during pregnancy, infect the baby during the birth process, and unlike most other STDs, can infect the baby through breastfeeding.

A pregnant woman with an STD may also have early onset of labor, premature rupture of the membranes surrounding the baby in the uterus, and uterine infection after delivery.
The harmful effects of STDs in babies may include stillbirth (a baby that is born dead), low birth weight (less than five pounds), conjunctivitis (eye infection), pneumonia, neonatal sepsis (infection in the baby’s blood stream), neurologic damage, blindness, deafness, acute hepatitis, meningitis, chronic liver disease, and cirrhosis. Most of these problems can be prevented if the mother receives routine prenatal care, which includes screening tests for STDs starting early in pregnancy and repeated close to delivery, if necessary. Other problems can be treated if the infection is found at birth.

Should pregnant women be tested for STDs?

Yes, STDs affect women of every socioeconomic and educational level, age, race, ethnicity, and religion. The CDC 2006 Guidelines for Treatment of Sexually Transmitted Diseases recommend that pregnant women be screened on their first prenatal visit for STDs which may include:
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Hepatitis B
HIV
Syphilis

In addition, some experts recommend that women who have had a premature delivery in the past be screened and treated for bacterial vaginosis at the first prenatal visit. Pregnant women should ask their doctors about getting tested for these STDs, since some doctors do not routinely perform these tests. New and increasingly accurate tests continue to become available. Even if a woman has been tested in the past, she should be tested again when she becomes pregnant.

Can STDs be treated during pregnancy?

Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, trichomoniasis, and bacterial vaginosis (BV) can be treated and cured with antibiotics during pregnancy. There is no cure for viral STDs, such as genital herpes and HIV, but antiviral medication may be appropriate for pregnant women with herpes and definitely is for those with HIV. For women who have active genital herpes lesions at the time of delivery, a cesarean delivery (C-section) may be performed to protect the newborn against infection. C-section is also an option for some HIV-infected women. Women who test negative for hepatitis B may receive the hepatitis B vaccine during pregnancy.

How can women protect themselves from STD infection?
The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship (like marriage) with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.

Parents: You Do Make A Difference

Continuing our theme of talking with your children about sexuality, here are excerpts from this article. You may feel that your children don't want to hear from you about personal issues such as sex, but surveys continue to indicate that kids DO want you to share your knowledge and express your opinions.

In a 2007 survey commissioned by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 47 percent of young persons age 12 through 19 listed parents as having the most influence in decisions regarding sex. Among those age 12 through 14, parents were even more important. Nearly 60 percent of adolescents surveyed listed parents as most important. Friends came in a distant second with 18 percent of young people listing them as most influential and just 13 percent of those age 12 to 14. The survey involved 1,037 adolescents and teenagers and 1,162 adults.
"Year after year, teens cite parents as one of the most influential sources about their decisions about sex. They say it consistently and by large margins," said Bill Albert, the campaign's chief program officer. "It really goes hand in glove with very good social science research that has suggested kids who are closely connected to their parents are less likely to engage in destructive behaviors, including smoking, drinking and being sexually active," Albert said. "Parents really are critical. I don't think parents know that."

The article continues with this advice on talking points:

• Remember, young people view parents as the primary source about sex and development. Ask your daughter what her current sources of information about sex and development are. What topics would she like more information on?
• Talk to young people early and often, emphasizing the emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of sex. Ask your daughter to summarize her understanding of your beliefs about sex, then clarify any points with her. Ask her about her beliefs, including whether she disagrees with you on any particular point.
• Provide a clear message about values. Ask your daughter if she understands your values, and whether she also holds those values.
• Look for teachable moments throughout the day, including while watching TV or listening to music.
• Take the time to learn what your child is or is not being taught in school.
• Preteens often want to know what's "normal" and whether they qualify. Older teens are often looking for specifics.
• Keep communication open, but be ready to hear bad news. If a teenage child admits being sexually active, begin by welcoming the honesty. Get your child tested for STDs immediately. Ask your child to figure out why they are sexually active.
• Eat at least one meal together every day and turn off the TV.
• Avoid scare tactics, but be ready for a frank discussion about STDs. You can learn about them at the CDC website.
• Remember your work day is the prime time for adolescent sexual activity. Are your children supervised by an adult during the hours between school getting out and your arrival home from work? If not, what changes could you make?

Fathers Need Training & Support Too

When talking about pregnancy in the teen and college population we often focus solely on the pregnant young mother, neglecting the father. So let's spend this week after Father's Day looking at fathers a little bit, and think and talk about how the baby's father impacts your daughter, her child, and your family.

Mothers are not the only ones who need training in child care skills and parenting skills. Fathers need this education too! Ask the baby's father or the man who is going to be a father figure for the child if they are willing to receive some training. Find fatherhood training classes at your local pregnancy resource center, a local church, or a men's group such as Promise Keepers.

The Dad E-mail is a weekly e-newsletter filled with helpful hints and tips just for dads! It offers relevant ideas for connecting to your children, balancing work and family, handling tough family issues, and more. Ask the father of your daughter's child to sign up for this newsletter. You can sign up for it too, and then discuss the newsletter each week.

The Fatherhood Initiative also has an online brochure with "Ten Ways to be a Better Dad". Read it and discuss it (with your daughter, family, and the baby's father). Here are the main points:

1. Respect your children's mother.
2. Spend time with your children.
3. Earn the right to be heard.
4. Discipline with love.
5. Be a role model.
6. Be a teacher.
7. Eat together as a family.
8. Read to your children.
9. Show affection.
10. Realize that a father's job is never done.

Talk with your daughter about these points:

• Does she feel that the baby's father respects her? What actions and attitudes does she think are involved in 'respect'? What are your thoughts about respect? In what ways does the baby's father respect her and not respect her? Does she respect the baby's father? What changes could each of them make to have/show more respect to each other? If the baby's father will not be involved in raising her child, which man will play this role of demonstrating respect for her in front of her child?
  
• With your daughter, write up a sample schedule for the typical weekday and another schedule for the typical weekend day. This schedule should be a projection for what life will be like after her baby is born, not what life is like right now while she is pregnant. Include sleep, school, work, chores, etc. Try to be as realistic (not optimistic) as possible. When will she schedule time to read to her child? Play with her child? Ask the baby's father to do the same exercise, and compare the schedules. If the baby's father will not be involved in raising her child, which man will spend daily time with her child? What is he willing to commit to on a daily basis to provide a father figure by spending daily time with her child?
• In "earn the right to be heard", the brochure says, "Begin talking with your kids when they are very young so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems." Discuss with your daughter what it was like in your family when you were a child. Did your parents talk about difficult subjects with you? Did your parents have good listening skills? Now ask your daughter about her impressions of growing up: did you discuss difficult subjects with her when she was young? When have you had good listening skills and less than perfect listening skills? What concrete steps would she like to take so that she is a good parent in these areas? If the baby's father will not be involved in raising her child, which man will be involved in discussing life issues with her child?
  
• There are lots of good parenting books out there which discuss discipline. Discuss with your daughter what the word 'discipline' meant when you were a child in your family. Did your parents discipline you with love? What limits and consequences did your parent set as you grew up? Then discuss what things you did the same as your parents, and what things you tried to do differently from your own parents as your raised your daughter. Ask your daughter what 'discipline' means to her. What does 'discipline with love' mean to her? Talk to her about the ideas you had about discipline before you became a parent, and how becoming a parent changed those ideas. If the baby's father will not be involved in raising her child, which man will be help provide discipline to her child?
  
• Ask your daughter which man is a role model to her of what a man is supposed to be like. Which man is a role model to her of what a father is supposed to be like? What qualities do these men have that she admires and dislikes? What would a fictional perfect man & father be like, in her opinion? When you were growing up yourself, who were your man/father role models? What qualities did they have that you admired and disliked? Discuss the baby's father: what good role model qualities does he currently have? What does he need to improve? Is he willing to make any changes to become a better role model? If the baby's father will not be involved in raising her child, which man will be a role model to her child?
  
• Does your family currently eat together at least once a day? It doesn't have to be dinner..it could be breakfast or lunch too. This is an important time to debrief. What can you all do to make it a habit that the family eats together once a day?
  
• Your daughter may feel like she's too old to be read to by you anymore, but what if you were reading a book about parenting skills, or pregnancy? Or if reading outloud to each other really is out of the question, what if you and she were reading the same book separately? You may not need two copies..just two bookmarks. Or, make sure to stay in sync in your reading, discussing as you go. Keep the book in a common place...the kitchen? dining room? living room? so that you might both see the book regularly. What are your daughter's plans to read to her child? She doesn't have to wait until the child is a toddler to be reading to him/her...she can start even now before the baby is born!
  
• Discuss with your daughter what it was like growing up in your own family in terms of the display of affection. What did your parents do to show affection to you? What did they do to show affection to each other? Ask her what she remembers about how affection was displayed to her as a child. What are her plans for displaying affection to her child? If the baby's father won't be involved in raising her child, which man will display affection to her child? What would she consider an appropriate display from this man, and an inappropriate display from this man?

As you can see, there's a LOT to talk and think about. Both mothers and fathers have a demanding job in raising children. Our book "How To Survive Your Teen's Pregnancy: Practical Advice for the Parents of a Pregnant Christian Single" has several chapters about the father of your daughter's baby: "Where Does The Baby's Father Belong In All This?", "Forgiving The Baby's Father", "Forgiving The Young Man's Parents", and "The Importance Of A Father." You may find this book helpful as you and your daughter make decisions and plans. If the child's father will not be involved for whatever reason, who in your current family could play this crucial role of father figure? If no one is available or acceptable, spend some time considering an adoption plan where the child would have the advantages of a father as the child grows.

Fathers: More healthy moms, babies, kids

When talking about pregnancy in the teen and college population we often focus solely on the pregnant young mother, neglecting the father. So let's spend this week after Father's Day looking at fathers a little bit, and think and talk about how the baby's father impacts your daughter, her child, and your family.

The National Fatherhood Initiative summarizes the following independent research studies:

Father Factor in Maternal and Infant Health

- Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants of unmarried mothers than for married mothers.
Source: Matthews, T.J., Sally C. Curtin, and Marian F. MacDorman. Infant Mortality Statistics from the 1998 Period Linked Birth/Infant Death Data Set. National Vital Statistics Reports, Vol. 48, No. 12. Hyattsville, MD: National Center for Health Statistics, 2000.

- Based on birth and death data for 217,798 children born in Georgia in 1989 and 1990, infants without a father’s name on their birth certificate (17.9 percent of the total) were 2.3 times more likely to die in the first year of life compared to infants with a father’s name on their birth certificate.
Source: Gaudino, Jr., James A., Bill Jenkins, and Foger W. Rochat. “No Fathers’ Names: A Risk Factor for Infant Mortality in the State of Georgia, USA.” Social Science and Medicine 48 (1999): 253-265.

- Unmarried mothers are less likely to obtain prenatal care and more likely to have a low birth-weight baby. Researchers find that these negative effects persist even when they take into account factors, such as parental education, that often distinguish single-parent from two-parent families.
Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Public Health Service. Center for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Health Statistics. Report to Congress on Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing. Hyattsville, MD (Sept. 1995): 12.

- Expectant fathers can play a powerful as advocates of breastfeeding. Three-fourths of women whose partners attended a breastfeeding promotion class initiated breastfeeding.
Source: Wolfberg, Adam J., et al. “Dads as breastfeeding advocates: results from a randomized controlled trial of an educational intervention.” American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 191 (September 2004): 708-712.

- Fathers’ knowledge about breastfeeding increases the likelihood that a child will be breastfed. Children who fathers knew more had a 1.76 higher chance of being breastfed at the end of the first month and 1.91 higher chance of receiving maternal milk at the end of the third month.
Source: Susin, Lurie R.O. “Does Parental Breastfeeding Knowledge Increase Breastfeeding Rates?” BIRTH 26 (September 1999): 149-155.

- Twenty-three percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities reported cigarette use during their pregnancy. Seventy-one percent were on Medicare.
Source: McLanahan, Sara. The Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study: Baseline National Report. Table 7. Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Well-being, 2003: 16.

- A study of 2,921 mothers revealed that single